oO wInGLeSs aNgeL Oo

2003-02-23T12:07:00.000-08:00

I hate dreaming for some reason... I'm been having numerous dreams each night and in each one of them, they don't make me feel all happy in the end. I wake up... and feel a little sadder. Isn't that strange? But dreams... they all tell some kind of message. Maybe deep inside I'm trying to hide something and through my dreams, I'm trying to tell myself to face it. It's weird...

Anyways.. more homework for today... Yesterday was a bore and I didn't do anything fun. I want to go out tonight but than I have school tomorrow so... too bad. T______T I watched The Barber Shop and Berserk yesterday. Fun... Also eating Taco Bell gave me a stomachache... heheheeh

BLUE

You give your love and friendship unconditionaly. You enjoy long, thoughful conversations rich in philosophy and spirituality. You are very loyal and intuitive.

Find out your color at Stvlive.com!

Rinoa

Which FFVIII Magical Girl are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I'm Mokuba... save me, big brother! ;_;
Which Yu-Gi-Oh boi are you? Find out!
Another test by that spelunking Mania Macabre.

2003-02-21T16:10:00.000-08:00

SOLITAIRE IS ADDICTING!!!!!!!!!!!.

I have been playing solitaire everyday now. Wasting about 1 to 3 hours straight continuously playing. I am a loser. T______T Anyways... life is whateverz... nothing exciting.. just a whole lot of things i have to do but I'm not really trying to do them. I hate that feeling of being completely useless... unproductive. Anyways... California rolls are good...

While coming from the hospital yesterday... i stopped by Hannam Chain to buy some california roll and saw a homeless disabled old man sitting in a wheelchair in front of the entrance. While walking by, I tried to avoid looking at him but than out of the corner of my eyes... i saw his state. It seemed as though his legs and his left arm were completely disabled and only hisright hand worked properly... But than his face.. He seem to suck in his cheeks continuously. I turned to my mom and said, "Those always make me so sad." So my mom wanted to buy him some food but I said no. Not because I didn't want to, but because I think giving him money would be better. I also worried about giving him such delicious food and how he might feel afterwards... when it's all gone... So I give him the money but he couldn't even grab the money straight. His arm wrinkled up into this feeble position and it just broke my heart....

While coming home and waiting at the red light, I saw a homeless guy just standing and looking at his belonging. It's just... the way he stood and looked at his belongings made me hurt inside a lot. It seemed like he was contemplating about his whole life and I could understand, what else can you do? Than he looked up and started to walk away. It felt like he was just leaving his things and walking away. I still wonder why he did that and he was probably going to come back for it, but it looked as though he was trying to throw away his belonging. THey seem to represent the baggages in his life. No matter how long you hold on to things.. in the end, they are only trash and worthless...

However, it hurt to see these things. I see these things when I go to LA or the glendale library and I just realize how truly sad the world is. So during dinner, I was talking to my sister and her boyfriend about it, and he said, "you pity them?" I replied... "no" I don't think I pity them.. I just.. feel sad. I hate why these kinds of things have to happen in the world. Why couldn't the world be a much happier place. The one thing I wanted to do while I was in LA was to run up to them, grab their hands and make their lives all better. I wanted to tell them that I could take them to a better place then this pathetic world they live in. They can actually be happier. They can be able to walk, laugh, smile.. cry... anything they wanted to do.

But I know it can't be possible. But all this sadness... I wish I could help them forget it all..... make it disappear from the world...

Anyways... for some entertainment from Chichiro - san ^____^ so bishounen... NO DAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IS IT POSSIBLE FOR SOMEONE TO BE THIS PRETTY???? @_________@ SO UNFAIR....

Best Inuyasha Partner Test by Umi

SUICIDAL BITCH

You are a depressed child. You need some laughter
in your life. Why, you ask? Cause that frown
don't look good on you, hun!

(results contain pictures) What type of bitch are you?
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border="0" alt="*Suta-Raito* All Anime!">

atmospheric

*~ What kind of dreamer are you? ~*
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escapist

*~ What kind of dreamer are you? ~*
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You are Rinoa. Innocent and dependent, you can get
annoying at times. Still, you have a very good
heart, so your friends keep you around.

Which Final Fantasy VIII character are you?
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You're Rini! Booyaka! Pink and bunnies! Yippee!

Which Anime Girl Are You?
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Cool! You're a Rinoa! totaly outspoken, you're not
afriad to voice your opinion. You can be a
little annoying at times, being so stubborn.
But you have a very strong will and
determination, which is a very good thing!!
You're also a very cool person to hang out
with.

Which of the Final Fantasy 8 charatcers are you most like?
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You're not a scientist!

What kind of scientist are you?
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You're confused. Hmmm....

How do you feel?
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2003-02-20T17:54:00.000-08:00

I am so unhealthy. I need to excercise some more. T_____T I realize how nasty my body got. Also I went down to LA to get a shot and it hurts!!!! Hope the shot makes me feel better. Anyways... EVERYONE!!! WE HAVE TO WORK OUT THIS WEEK!!!!! gah dang it!!! We keep saying we will but do we ever?!!! didn't think so.

2003-02-19T13:54:00.000-08:00

SCHOOL SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!. and having a cold isn't that great either. I cough so much my chest and ribs hurt. DANG IT....

Dream ends sooner or later
Dreams are inevitable and unattainable.
Dreams are places of cowardly refuge
Having a dream is chasing the rainbow
in a storm, a pointless pursuit for something grand.
-from "Love Hina"

Sorrowdweller. You are not overcome by anger nor
happiness. Your emotions are pretty well
balanced, but you do tend to get somewhat
emotional at times leaning towards depression
and saddness. You have your own views of the
world and while you do not see the beauty of
life, you are not completely overwhelmed by
darkness. Live and let live just because.

How Emotional Are You?
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Ã¸Â™;Â Âœ@524688)

"Which Kingdom Hearts Character Are You?"
brought to you by Quizilla

what's your cowboy bebop theme song?

test by Leanne
which CCS character are you?

Are you a DEVIL or an ANGEL?

Quiz made by - Ayumi - Sweet Dreams

Which Cooni Are You?

1.

quiz created by Tsukitty

2.

quiz created by Tsukitty

3.

quiz created by Tsukitty

Which Dead or Alive™ girl are you? Test by Ari.

You are Amamiya Mina! You are the nice personality of MPD Psycho.
You are very kind and will support others around you. People like you make the
world a better place.

Which MPD Psycho personality are you?

2003-02-18T14:11:00.000-08:00

Kim Ji Hae is so pretty ^___^

But bOa is undeniably gorgeous...

2003-02-17T20:51:00.000-08:00

One word for today: FUN!

Went to Knott's with church members. I thought I'll have a horrible time but it was one of the best time ever. Everyone made me feel included and didn't ignore me all the time. They treated me like a friend and not some kind of stranger. DANG I need more of this.

School tomorrow and two awful test which I don't want to study for. On top of that my cough got worse. T_____T sadness... Please pray for me to get better. eck... and time to edit my video for english... horrible. T____T

I found out my sister and her boyfriend technically broke up. I think everyone knew it was coming but... at least now she and he can go on with life. I felt a little reliefed when I heard about it because they have been fighting for far too long. That is life. Also last night went out with hee jung to watch Chicago. I have to say that it is a very well made movie and musicals are awesome. But personally Renee Zelweigner neiger or whatever her last name is pissed the shiet out of me. I think she turned uglier than when I used to remember. She had this look in the movie which made me hella annoyed to look at her. I think it's because she turned red like every minute she talked and I hate it when people turn red. Even her fingers were turning red and also she is flat like a cardboard. On the other hang, Catherine is hella fione. ^____^ even though she looked a bit chuncky... I have never really been a musical fan and the only movie musical I've seen is Sound of Music. But wow... nice movie. Now I want to watch Pianist.

Life is so short.

You're the loving smile,the one that is entirely
devoted to others,especially that one
person.You really can't get them out of your
head,but then,you don't really want to.

What Kind of Smile are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Miracle by bOa

zutto sagashiteita
hontou no watashi wo
warau koto naku koto
sorekara ikiru koto
yume wo hashiru kimi no soba de
egao todoketeitai kedo
destiny, is shine or not?
futari ha doko ni tadoritsuku no

#please hold me tight, across the time
donna watashi demo
tsuyoku yasashiku iyasarete yuku
autabi kokoro ga kimi wo mitsumeteku
tsutawaru mono ga ai kamo shirenai

PURATON mo PIASU mo
MELODY mo CHRISTMAS mo
itoshisa ni deaeba
imi wo mochihajimeru
futari iru yasuragi de sae
taikutsu ni omoeru toki mo
Never mind, I'll smile to you
kimi no soba ni iru koto chikau

## It's miracle, so miracle
nokosazu tsutsumu yo
taisetsuna nda You are my special reason
kono you ni kiseki ga hitotsu aru no nara
sore ha YES kimi ni, kimi ni aeta koto

I want my eyes as big as this.

2003-02-16T15:09:00.000-08:00

HAVING A COLD SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!.

Running around in the rain wearing a skirt took it's toll as I am sitting here suffering from a raspy throat, neverending coughing, and dripping nose. Anyways.. maybe it's the cold but I am in a hating mood right now.

I hate this headache I have right now.
I hate my church.
I hate my sister and brother.
I hate homework.
I hate school.
I hate to think about my future.

And I especially hate myself. I hate how pathetic I really am inside. I hate how I can't seem to change. I hate how I continue to be the same Farra from within even though I try to change. All these things I do inside doesn't even seem to affect how I really am inside. I'm so afraid to show people who I really am that I lie to myself and ultimately all I'm doing is living a pathetic lie. Nothing can be done for now. Church showed me that. I am always going to be the same insecure, shy, antisocial, ugly individual who is completely alone. I try to be strong. I try not to let my faults bring me down but invisible obstacles seem to be appear right in front of me, trying to stop me. In the end, I feel like an old doll someone threw out and doesn't want anymore so I roam the streets alone and unloved.

Momiji x Tohru

What fruits basket fanfiction pairing are you?
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YUKIRU

What fruits basket fanfiction pairing are you?
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I AM A MAJOR YUKI AND TOHRU FAN. BUT SECRETLY I THINK I DESIRE THE YOUNGER GUY. T______T

What's Your One Piece Doujinshi Personality?
brought to you by Quizilla
You are: Sanji-type.

Analysis:

Extremely romantic, tenderhearted, and chivarous, you are in love with being in love. Simply put, you feel the need to shower someone with your attention and emotions. Why is that? Probably because you want to be loved yourself. You are such a giving soul that it's against your nature to ask for things in return. You are loving others the way you would like to be loved. Unfortunately, you are so attentive and doting that it will be hard to find someone who will be able to reciprocate in the same way. This leads to a general pining away for someone who doesn't return your affections. When this happens, you are given to bouts of depression or melancholy sighing and laying around on the kitchen floor.

You have another side, though. With the right person, you can be very sly and seductive. Usually this tends to be a person who doesn't quite get what you're up to. This gives you the upper hand for once and that makes you a tangy force to be reckoned with. Your perseverance will pay off someday, don't worry. You're like the heart-eyed bullet train of love and there's no stopping you.

Caution: As doujinshi Sanji, you may be prone to sexually harassing Zoro-types or Luffy-types to take out your frustration with the unresponsive Nami-type. Please concentrate your energies on cooking and cleaning, and make sure you have plenty of cigarettes. If you were to run out, your libido will run wild, causing you to moan and whine and lay all over the floor with your shirt undone, even more than usual. Your face and hair may become more feminine and you will be in danger of being uked. Repeatedly. And by everyone.

And I mean everyone.

Please use extreme caution at all times.

You are most compatible with: Another Sanji-type would give back to you as you give to them, but for some real fun, go after a stoic, repressed Zoro-type and watch the sparks fly.

Advice: Pick up a new hobby, like music. You can serenade your honey with a sexy siren song.

2003-02-14T14:07:00.000-08:00

My mood as been fluctuating today ranging from pissed to hyper happiness. At least in the end I turn back to my normal self. I hope... Anyways... another day of filming. It's not that I hate doing it, it's just really tiring to think about doing it. Like I'm already tired of doing it when I didn't even do it. I guess because it's Friday I just want to do something else, like kick back with friends. It pained me when i told Helery and Jon I might not be able to kick it today. T_____T Oh why must I go through such pain. As usual no one sent me a rose and it's ok. If I did receieve one and it wasn't from someone I liked, than I'll just be pissed. Wow... I'm so nice. T____T

I thought pulling out my hair was my only bad habit but now I waste food. I have this problem of tearing away little pieces of food and just throwing it. Yes.. anyways..

Anyways... all my classes were really boring today but I had fun just doing nothing. Staring off into lala land... ^____^ I ate some really stale bread with potato salad in it and my stomach isn't feeling so good. Also I think I got a cold. WHY!!!! Everything is a pain in the behind. Well I don't have anything else to say except last night I misinterpreted what a person wrong on their blog and also got into a pointless fight with my friend. She was a little pissed of how I made her seem like but things just seem that way. Sometimes I wonder how I just jump to conclusions without actually thinking through it. It gets really annoying. I don't think I have to patience to just sit down and think before I act. Instead I act before i think and than later regret andwhime why I couldn't have seen that coming. Anyways.. writing is becoming a bore so I'll just leave now. Buh bye...

Dood.. I seriously don't talk about anything in this crap.

Reading my past entries brings me so much nostalgia... I thought I was dumb back than but than I must have gotten dumber right now. T____T I seem to be able to understand what I'm writing about back then than I do right now. Sadness..

2003-02-14T00:19:00.000-08:00

Guess I'll be keeping the internet longer than I thought. Just until February 28th.

I WANT TO BECOME A NINJA!!!!!!!!!!!.

Kakashi sensei is so hot. ^______________^ I love those tough mysterious types. Anyways... there is this new korean drama called il in or something and a hot guys comes out in it. *drool*...

Wasted the day watching Naruto and planning to go to sleep soon. Also Spirited Away is awesome so I recommend you go and watch it.

I'm a really strange person. I even confuse myself too many times. I need some kind of order in my life.

I'm pretty happy about my grades. Recieved straight B's and 2 A's and if I weigh the GPA than it would be a 4.1.

Have a good day.

HAPPY VAL:ENTINES!!!!!!!!!!!.

Some more of those get to know you surverys... thingys...

Basic Questions
[my name is]: FaRra Bae
[in the morning i am]: Don't want to go to school
[all i need is]: God
[love is]: meaningless
[im afraid of]: being forgotten, being lonely, and never accomploshing anything in this world
[i dream about]: my future

Have you ever...
[pictured your crush naked?]: no
[actually seen ur crush naked]: no
[been in love]: no, i'm not really sure what love is
[cried when someone died]: yeah
[drank alcohol]: no
[lied]: of course

With the opposite sex...
[what do u notice first?]: charisma, first impression
[last person u slow danced with]: sung
[worst thing to say]: telling someone they are stupid

Who...
[makes u laugh the most?]: sarcastic jokes
[makes you smile]: little things in life, when friends get together, fresh morning, clear skys, little animals, food, my mom's smile
[gives u a funny feeling when u see them]: no one
[has a crush on u?]: i wouldn't know...
[easier to talk to: boys or girls?]: i could get to a personal level with girls but more friendly with guys.. eh duno...

Do you ever...
[sit on the internet all day waiting for someone special to I.M. u?]: yes

[save aol/aim conversations]: those that matter

Have you ever...
[fallen for ur best friend]: no
[been rejected]: no
[rejected someone]: i suppose...

[used someone]: lolz, actually yes, its so mean though
[been cheated on]: no
[done something u regret]: no
[cried because of someone saying something to u]: yes

Do you...
[color ur hair]: yes.. numerous times
[ever get off the damn computer]: sometimes

Have you / / Do you / / Are you
[obsessive]: online quizzes, lip gloss, won bin, j pop singers, anime, cute things
[could u live without the computer?]: i dont think i can
[how many peeps are on ur buddylist?]: 190
[what's your favorite food?]: california rolls, tempura
[whats ur favorite fruit?]: strawberries, peaches, cherry, watermelon
[drink alcohol?]: none
[like watching sunrises or sunset]: i prefer both

[what hurts the most? physical or emotional pain?]: emotional, im really sensitive... hehe
[trust others way too easily?]: YES

Final Questions...
[i want]: a successful life and a happy one
[i wish]: life was easier
[i love]: God, my best friends, my parents
[i miss]: my dad
[i fear]: failure
[i hear]: annoying people talking shiet
[i wonder]: if our lives are predestined
[how do u know its love?]: Not sure

[I am]: CONFUSED....

2003-02-12T12:16:00.000-08:00

Which Trigun Character are You like?
Takes other quizzes at Newsies Meets Anime...Anime Meets Newsies...

I'm Naru! You have your standards; but hey who doesn't!?
You care about your friends and stay true to yourself,
however you are known to throw a fit every once in awhile.
While some say you're the devil,
others know you're a true angel!

Which Slayers Character are You like?
Takes other quizzes at Newsies Meets Anime...Anime Meets Newsies...

2003-02-12T08:46:00.000-08:00

YAY NO SCHOOL TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!.

Happiness as I got to miss school today. Isn't it great? For me it is. I guess I'm not that sleepy but I'm very mentally tired and truthfully I have been going out a lot more now than I used to and I'm not used to balancing social life with school life. Somehow they intermingle and my head just gets swamped. Well good bye to the internet for realz. TOday my mom got mad at me because I didn't disconnect it sooner. I know I threatened my brother I would do it but than somehow inside of myself I didn't want to. It's been real fun chatting away and I know I'm going to miss it but than heck... there's the phone.. Anyways... I made up my mind today. I just have to wait until it comes to my room but I still need to find the phone line or else I'm not going to have the internet for the longest time.

Question of the day: Why did I miss school today? Is it really farra? Could this really be true? Yes it is.

Actually I thought about it and realized I have only gay classes today with no big test in them so I thought, "Why not?" Because I'm going to have a calculus quiz on thursday which I need to study for today. T_________T All I need to do is copy notes from government and probably study for the test which might be on Friday and call up people to find out my homework anyways... and if I don't... I'll copy it at school.

Damn it.. I just want to be rich in the future. Buy a nice house, have maids and servants everywhere and visit foreign countries on my free time. I would want to make my own money and on top of that my husband makes a lot as well. hahahah but who am I kidding. Why would some rich guy go for me? Seriously.. when I think about all the decent guys at school, who I know are going to be successful, I know those aren't the types to go for me. They want success as well and I see myself as some kind of baggage. I really shouldn't have this dumb mindset. But... ARGHHHHHHHH

Guess what?!!! I'll make myself what they want in a girlfriend/wife. ^_______^ Yea.. well I'm just being silly now but it's possible. Watch out stupid world.

Bear bought me food last night, such a sweet heart, but my stomach hurts. T____T I'm never going to eat at that chinese restaurant again. Also driving in the rain is hella scary and Bear told me to learn how to parallel park. I KNOW I CAN'T PARALLEL PARK!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I really need to learn or else... what am I going to do? She told me She'll be my tutor but... -____________- ehhh... But talking to her was hella nice and I want more of it!!! I need to do those things with freinds more often. Especially with the few friends I have right now. I'm not the most popular person in the world and with the few people who actually want to be my friends, I want to dedicate all my time and effort to. ^_______^ So.. if you're my friends.... expect a lot of attention and love. MWAH*

Valentines is coming up. I really wonder if a valentine would come for me. I seriously doubt it. T_____T Sadness.... but that doesn't mean everyone else should be sad!!! HAPPY VALENTINE'S in two days.

Little something for the girls: Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. But boys don't want to reach for the good ones because they're afraid of falling & getting hurt. Instead they just get the apples that are on the ground that aren't as good but EASY. So the apples at the top think that there's something wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. That is why you have to be patient & the right boy, the one who takes a chance to find the right apple, will come someday!

2003-02-11T16:28:00.000-08:00

Felt like shiet this morning and i barely made it through the day. At least I'm finished with the biology test and that's one less test for the week. I'm not feeling so good right now because last night I was moving around too much and in the morning my blanket was all over the floor and the window was open. Also this morning it was raining, great no? RIght now I feel much better because I ate some Carl's Junior and I'm just kicking back until my tutor comes. I should really be studying or doing something more productive before I feel so useless and productiveless in the end. Life is always nice in it's small ways.

My friend got into three colleges she really wanted to go to, one in New York, Oregon and Chicago. I'm really happy for her. Probably because she didn't really do that well in high school and was worried she couldn't get in anywhere because she didn't have that many options to choose from. But right now she's basically HAPPY. THings are really looking up for her right now. She went through so much hardship and now she's happy with life because finally things are turning out better. Things turn out better in the end. Only time will tell.

Anyways.. I'm still worried about college and everything. People are already receiving acceptance letters from USC and such and I doubt I got in but than I still hope and wait and just get fustrated along the way. No matter how hard I try to avoid thinking about it, people always bring it up onto my face. I really hope I could get into any UCs right about now. I think I'll want to go to either San Diego or Riverside because I know for sure I can't get into LA or Berkeley. All this college business is depressing. I don't know where I got accepted into and on top of that I'm not sure what I want to be... Well... I'll know sooner or later. "I never think of the future. It comes soon enough." -Albert Einstein

GET HIM OUT OF MY HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!.

I saw him today again. It was just depressing because I came to school looking like crap and on top of that I was feeling like shiet. I dream too much. I don't know why he'll even like me. Anyways...

Which CSVN Girl are you?

Too from some person...

The 9 Kinds of Korean Girlfriends
[jacked 4rm andys site]

THE HEN PECKER
“Look bitch, somebodys got to take charge and it might as well be me! Do the dishes! NOW!!!”
Advantages: Will whip your lazy ass into shape.
Disadvantages: Will put holes in your face, ego, and brain.

MS. INSECURE
“Do I need a new hairdo, God, or a donut? Do you really love me?”
Advantages: Convinced no one can understand her except you.
Disadvantages: Easily discouraged. Contagious.

THE KOREAN
“Take me home. Use me. Abuse me. I’m used to it.”
Advantages: Completely submissive
Disadvantages: Will turn into the hen pecker after she ropes you into marriage.

THE CHRISTIAN
“What an absolutely wonderfulicious day God has made!”
Advantages: Cheerful, peppy, cute.
Disadvantages: Will make you guilty about your sinful nature. Will drag you to endless hours of Bible study.

MS. LIBERATED
“Let’s have sex.”
Advantages: Well lubricated. Will never be offended by anything you say or do.
Disadvantages: No friction. Will make you wonder what army walked the road you’re walking now.

THE LITTLE GIRL
“Why is the sky blue Oppa?”
Advantages: Will give you more respect than you could possibly deserve.
Disadvantages: Abuse of this trust by you and subsequent boyfriends will turn her into Ms. Liberated.

THE MODEL
“E=mc2?”
Advantages: Pretty. Doesn’t ask any questions. Your friends will envy you.
Disadvantages: Nothing to talk about. Will leave you for a richer dude when your credit runs out.

MS. SOCIALLY CONSCIENCE
“Don’t hold my hand now, honey. Look, our friends are watching.”
Advantages: Knows the inside gossip on everyone. Wild animalistic rutting once you get her alone.

MS.RIGHT
“No guy at my dad’s multi-billion dollar company ever turned me on as much as you!”
Disadvantages: She’s really talking to the guy right behind you.

2003-02-10T11:44:00.000-08:00

funny....

Memo to all students:

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity
from students, it will be our policy to keep all students well taught
through our program of Special High Intensity Teaching (S.H.I.T.).

We are trying to give our students more S.H.I.T. than anyone else. If
you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. during a course,
please see your teacher. You will be immediately placed at the top of
the S.H.I.T. list. Our teacher are especially skilled at seeing that you
get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle. Students who do not take the
teacher's S.H.I.T. will be placed on the Department Educational Evaluation
Programs (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.) list.

Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously
will have to go Educational Attitude Training (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.).

Since our teachers took S.H.I.T. before they graduated, they don't have
to do S.H.I.T. anymore, and are full of S.H.I.T. already. If you are
full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job teaching others. We can
add your name to our Basic Understanding Lecture List (B.U.L.L.
S.H.I.T.). For
students who are intending to pursue a career in management and
consulting, we will refer you to the department of Managerial Operational
Research Education (M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.). This course emphasizes how to
manage M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.

If you have further questions,please direct them to our Head Of
Teaching, Special High Intensity Training (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).

Thank you,
Boss In General of
Special High Intensity Teaching (B.I.G.S.H.I.T.)

Sincerely,
The Director Under the Magnificent Bureau of Super High Intensity
Teaching.
(TheD.U.M.B.S.H.I.T.)

2003-02-10T10:36:00.000-08:00

I WANT CLAM CHOWDER!!!!.

Done with both outlines for chapter 18 and 19. All I need to do is review for both chapters and take the test tomorrow. ^____^ Gah i hate homework but nonetheless i have to do them. Well what else do I have. Read the stupid spanish article and write about it and also define all fifty billion words she gave us. LITERALLY i want to kick her in the head. Anyways~ it's sort of sad what this blog has become to me. I use it mainly to remember what homework I have because of my awful memory and my laziness to write it down in my homework notebook. T____T sad is me.

Last night I had a strange dream and a fun dream. It somehow intermingled itself. One was where this guy was trying to kiss me but I didn't have the desire to kiss back and the other one was Jon was giving me a piggy back ride. EVEN in my dreams I want to get a piggy back ride but than he was running to fast and had to make a quick stop and dropping me off in front of some weird guy at AX. Weird... anyways... the piggy back ride was fun. (Now I just sound like a retard) I really must want to go to AX.

Now.. how is life? Life is always good now and than. I'm not sad nor estatic. I'm just glad that I'm living and trying to make the most of it before i die as a weak old fart and I don't want to say I regret living on my death bed. Dying is such an ugly story but at the same time looking at the overpopulation of this world, sometimes I turn apathetic toward death itself. I mean we are already overpopulated and what is wrong with just one more going. Sooner or later people are going to forget you were gone anyways. I know I'm sounding like a complete ass but it's how I feel. Yes I feel sad when someone dies and I give much grievance to those who lost their love ones, but in the end i live my life. THeir death really didn't have some kind of meaningful change to my life and so I live on. I suppose that is how humans are. I've already lost two people in my family and went to one too many funerals. But it's not going to drag me down. I just live.

Sorry if this rant made any sense or not. T____T Sometimes I just want to say things that don't make sense. Ack.. I'm sorry I even apologized for writing a stupid rant. AHHH why am I apologizing to you. It's because.. I'm weird and I want some clam chowder...

Also thanks Jon... Jon told me I was a funny person and I smiled. ^____^

I changed my subheading... ''Ultimately We all lie; To ourselves, To others, To the world, Why bother to tell the Truth?''

Also sorry for the change to the background. I will be returning to my bleeding eye colors soon enough but for now.. enjoy...

2003-02-09T01:57:00.000-08:00

FUCK... I HATE CRYING.

IT SEEMS LIKE EACH DAY I USE THE WORD FUCK FREQUENTLY. I USED TO NEVER WANT TO USE IT AND WHENEVER I DID I PURPOSELY MISPELLED IT OR PUT LITTLE PATHETIC STARS. WELL THIS IS HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW. I HATE IT.

I WANTED TO START OUT THIS SEMESTER, THIS LIFE WITH A NEW START. LITERALLY I WAS SO HAPPY THIS WEEK. I FELT HAPPY JUST BEING ALIVE. I FELT HAPPY FOR THOSE WHO WERE HAPPY AND HAPPY FOR MYSELF TO BE HAPPY ABOUT MYSELF. BUT... FEELING HAPPY ALWAYS FINDS A WAY TO BRING ME DOWN. THE TRUTH BRINGS ME DOWN. I REALIZED I REALLY HATE EVERYTHING. BUT I REALLY WANTED TO CHANGE. I REALLY WANT TO BE SOMETHING I REALLY WASN'T. WHATEVER... NOTHING MATTERS ANYMORE. THINGS ALWAYS ENDS UP MESSED UP...

BUT I REALLY CARE ABOUT THE FRIENDS I MADE RIGHT NOW BUT THEY DON'T KNOW HOW I REALLY FEEL INSIDE.. I GUESS I'M JUST REALLY MESSED UP INSIDE... AND I'M STILL SEARCHING. HECK, I'M LOST.

A BEAUTIFUL PRAYER
I asked God to take away my habit.
God said, No.
It is not for me to take away, but for you to give it up.
I asked God to make my handicapped child whole.
God said, No.
His spirit is whole, his body is only temporary
I asked God to grant me patience.
God said, No.
Patience is a byproduct of tribulations;
it isn't granted, it is learned.
I asked God to give me happiness.
God said, No.
I give you blessings; Happiness is up to you.
I asked God to spare me pain.
God said, No.
Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares
and brings you closer to me.
I asked God to make my spirit grow.
God said, No.
You must grow on your own! But I will prune you to make you
fruitful.
I asked God for all things that I might enjoy life.
God said, No.
I will give you life, so that you may enjoy all things.
I ask God to help me LOVE others, as much as He loves me.
God said...Ahhhh, finally you have the idea.

THE WORLD IS MESSED UP.. THE GUY AT THE BOTTOM IS A GUY... !!! A FREAKIN GUY....

2003-02-08T22:57:00.000-08:00

I GOT THE PERFECT GIRLFRIEND ONE AND COMPLETELY DISAGREED SO I TOOK IT OVER AGAIN.. MWA HAHAHAHA yea... well some more quizzes.. enjoy...

-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.

What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
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-Motherly- You're the motherly type. You love to
take care of the one you love, and generally
you can be a bit overprotective and possessive,
but you know, that isn't always such a bad
thing. At least you'll be a good mom in the
future.

What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
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-Not- You're...not girlfriend material. Not because
you'd be a bad girlfriend, but because you're
not in the mindset to be one. You're childish
and silly. Also, you might not necessarily be
attracted to guys. ~shrugs~ whatever.

What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
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-Dark Serge of Chrono Cross- Well now, looks like
you ended up being Kati's favorite bishounen of
all. So what if you're really a computer? And
so what if you're bent on world destruction and
don't have any emotions? At least you look cute
doing it. And it's fun to wonder how long a
person would live if they attempted to hug you.
I was so sad when i beat FATE in the game ;.;

Which of Kati's Favorite Bishounen are You?
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Lady Riddel- You're not really that strong, but
you're cool anyway, and Kati loves your
headband. It's kind of annoying that everyone
loves you, i mean Karsh, Dario, even Glen. But
it's ok, because you've got red eyes, and those
are cool. ^^

Which of Kati's favorite Chrono Cross character are you?
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You're Kat2~! Aka Kati. You're really the odd one.
Capable of being hyper and happy, but also of
being depressed and sad, you're the emotional
roller coaster. You love to quote things,
because even with your vast access to emotions,
you have a hard time expressing them.You love
to read,write,and draw, and you do a good deal
of all of those during classes. You still end
up passing,however...most of the time anyway.
You have a bad habit of scratching your skin
when you can't deal emotionally,but it's
ok,because you're happier now.

Which of the Kat3 are you?
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Hello Kitty Pocky! You're flat out weird, and
somewhat unknown, since i haven't even seen you
in Sanrio stores. You, however, are the
omnipotent kitty of OZ and all shall bow down
before your immense Bran-muffiny-ness.

What Kind of Pocky are You?
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DEPRESSED? WEIRD... I MUST NOT KNOW IT... MWA HAHAHA heheh......

You're depressed. Really you are. And you
definitely have a reason. You often space out
and stare at things blankly, even if you're
normally hyper and energetic. This is because
nothing really seems important anymore. You
might just be sad right now, or you might be
manic depressive. Don't worry. Have some cocoa
and stuff'll be ok.

How Depressed are You?
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I GOT THIS FIRST... EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Languid-Sexy....
You rock the messy hair and crisp white cotton
sheet. Your idea of bliss is a day spent in
bed with your lover. There is nothing wrong
with that, though some people like to leave the
bed at times. You're a total fox, even if you
are a hedonistic bum.

What's your brand of sexy?
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Romantic-Sexy....
Your fantasies involve love, not lust. You are a
fantastic kisser, and for very good reason:
it's your favorite thing. You are sappy as
hell, and you don't care who knows it.

What's your brand of sexy?
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2003-02-08T11:56:00.000-08:00

YAY... SATURDAY.. STILL NEED TO GO TO WORK BUT THAN ALL IS GOOD. I KEEP WAKING UP SO LATE ON SATURDAY. EVEN THOUGH I COULD WAKE UP EARLIER I CHOOSE TO WAKE UP LATER AND COME TO WORK LATE. I THINK IT'S BECAUSE I HAVE TO GO TO WORK SO I PURPOSELY GO AS SLOW AS POSSIBLE OR MAYBE BECAUSE I WAS TIRED THIS WHOLE WEEK AND SLEPT TO COMPENSATE HOW LITTLE I SLEPT. OR MAYBE NOT CONSIDERING HOW I SLEPT LIKE CRAZY THIS WEEK. SLEEP IS GOOD FOR YOU... (DOT DOT DOT)

I WOULD REALLY LIKE TO GO TO ANOTHER COUNTRY. I MEAN THIS WOULD BE MY LAST SUMMER BEFORE COLLEGE AND I WANT TO MAKE THE MOST OF IT. RIGHT NOW LIFE IS GOOD AND FUN. ^___^

THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE COLLEGE

1. VISIT A FOREIGN COUNTRY WITH FRIENDS
2. EXPERIENCE MY FIRST BOYFRIEND/KISS
3. GET CLOSER WITH THE FRIENDS I HAVE RIGHT NOW
4. TALK TO RANDOM PEOPLE ANYWHERE I GO
5. GO TO ANIME EXPO AND COSPLAY
6. TELL A GUY I LIKE HIM
7. SPONTANEOUSLY DANCE AT SCHOOL
8. GO OUT AND HUNT THE TOWN WITH MY CHICAS
9. TRY EVERY SINGLE ICE CREAM INVENTED
10. LEARN TO SWIM
11. GET DOUBLE EYELID SURGERY (WANT TO MAKE MY EYES BIGGER)
12. GO SKYDIVING
13. bUNGEE JUMP
14. GET MY BELLY PIERCED
15. WORK OUT... TRY OT MAKE MY BODY HELLA NICE
16. SPEND A WHOLE DAY WITH A CLOSE FRIEND
17. DRINK MY FFIRST DRINK WITH A CLOSE FRIEND
18. LEARN TO COOK
19. DITCH A WHOLE DAY
20. GO ON A ROAD TRIP WITH FRIENDS
21. RIDE ON A CRUISE
22. KISS SOMEONE I LIKE OUT OF NO WHERE
23. GO ON TOP OF THE TOKYO TOWER
24.

I KNOW I HAVE MORE BUT WILL ADD LATER.. ^___^

2003-02-06T14:23:00.000-08:00

Some quizzes for you people... i should really stop myself from taking so much.. heheheh

Solitude

What Kanji word best suits you?
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Romantic movie! You probably won't star in a porno
anytime soon. You seem to be really into the
whole "love" thing...romantic sex
with perfumed sheets and candles all over the
place. You're probably a hopeless romantic. You
value sex and respect your partner too much to
do anything like porn. AWWWWWW! <3

What kind of porno would you star in?
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You are pink. You are in limbo. Not pure and manipulated like white, not impure and noble like red. You are unsure of your real identity, but whatever you chose it to be, you can be it. That is your power. You change everyone you touch, and everyone remembers you. In literature, pink represents the place between heaven and hell. You are the one we will never forget.

What inner color are you?

Goddess of Wind, calm and cool and under control.
You don't like getting personal with too many
people.

What element would you rein over? (For Girls)
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i like this one~

Water Goddess. You like peace and serenity and are
usually content with life.

What element would you rein over? (For Girls)
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-02-05T22:17:00.000-08:00

I LOVE SCHOOL.... PLEASE SHOOT ME....

I HATE SCHOOL SOOOOOOO X 100 MUCH. IT'S SO BORING. BUT TODAY, IT WAS NICE. I TALKED TO PEOPLE, DIDN'T DO ANYTHING IN CLASS BUT SIT AND LOOK AT THE BOARD "LOOKING" LIKE I WAS LISTENING AND TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT MY MATH TEACHER WAS TRYING TO SAY. ANYWAYS... FELT GOOD TODAY. PROBABLY BECAUSE I LET DOWN MY HAIR. YESTERDAY I TIED MY HAIR UP AND I FELT SO INSECURE WHICH IS WEIRD. I DON'T REALLY LIKE TYPING MY HAIR. I'T'S SOME KIND OF INSECURITY ISSUE GOING ON. I THINK MY HEAD SHAPE IS TOO WEIRD... T___T ANYWAYS...

DOING HOMEWORK... I SHOULD BE DOING MY POWERPOINT PRESENTATION BUT I'M WASTING TIME AND CHATTING AWAY. I WASTED AN HOUR DOING CRAP WORK. I WANT TO CRY. SO FULL AS WELL... II ATE THE SIX DOLLAR BURGER FROM CARL'S JR AND IT WAS JUST TOOOOOO GOOD. I WAS EATING IT IN FRONT OF MY HOUR DRIVEWAY FREEZING TO DEATH BECAUSE IF I BROUGHT IT IN THAN I WOULD HAVE TO GO AND BUY SOME FOR MY BROTHER AND I DIDN'T HAVE MONEY TO BUY ANY FOR HIM. I KNOW... WE ARE HORRIBLE SISTERS BUT HEY... IT'S ALL GOOD. I'M EATING A LOT NOW A DAYS BUT THAN IT FEELS SOOOO GOOD TO EAT. FOOD IS LIFE. YAY!!! I REALLY DON'T WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL TOMORROW NOR FRIDAY. AT LEAST I CAN MISS THIRD PERIOD ON FRIDAY BECAUSE WE ARE HAVING SOME KIND OF SENIOR BARBEQUE. ^___~

LIFE IS SO PRECIOUS.

EATING TIME...

ANOTHER THING, MY BROTHER IS AN ASSHOLE.

never say you love me if you dont really care
never talk about feelings if they arent really there
never hold my hand if you are going to break my heart
never say your going to if you dont plan to start
never look into my eyes if all you do is lie
never say hello if you really mean goodbye
if you really mean forever then say you will try
never say forever cause forever makes me cry

X9rain66dorianx: be happy!

SilverKamon: aim is a little bitch
SilverKamon: taht you have to smack into place every now and then

2003-02-04T15:58:00.000-08:00

HAD A NICE TIME WITH JUSTINE. SERIOUSLY SHE IS THE BEST. SHE REALLY MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I HAVE REAL FRIENDS AT SCHOOL. SO NOW I AM AT HOME WAITING PATIENTLY FOR TUTOR. DAMN, I WANT TO PLAY A LOT OF DIFFERENT GAMES. ESPECIALLY HACK SIGN BECAUSE IT IS GOING TO COME OUT ON FEBRUARY 11. ^___^ ANYWAYS...

ECK... EVEN THOUGH IW AS MISERABLE AND HALF BORED UP THE ASS.. I WAS HAPPY. IT'S BECAUSE I JUST WALKED INTO A CLASS TO GET SOMETHING AND THE GUY I LIKED WALKED IN. EVEN THOUGH HE DIDN'T NOTICE ME IT FELT NICE. ^___^ I SORT OF TRIED TO MAKE EYE CONTACTS BUT RAN AWAY IN FRIGHT. AHHHH I AM SO CHILDISH. I CAN'T HELP BUT BEING SO GHETTO. HE REALLY IS CUTE... SIGH*

I AM GOING TO GO NOW... BUH BYE

2003-02-03T22:46:00.000-08:00

I WANT TO JUST SCREAM MY LUNGS OUTS. THE WORLD DOESN'T MAKE SENSE... I LIVE IN A PRETENTIOUS WORLD AND I AM A FAKE WOMAN TRYING TO NOT BE FAKE... OR ONLY MAKING MYSELF CRAZY BY TRYING TO...

ONE WORD FOR THE DAY: FUCK

I HATE THOSE THAT PISS ME OFF. GOOD BYE

HOWEVER, I DID HAVE SOME FUN TODAY. A BUSY SCHEDULE...
I'LL JUST LIST EVERYTHING.
1. TALKING WITH TWO CLOSE FRIENDS ABOUT SUBJECTS RANGING FROM RELATIONSHIPS TO CRAP
2. SLEEPING OVER
3. JUICE IT UP
4. BEACH/PIGEONS
6. RUNNING AND FREEZING TO DEATH
7. TRAFFIC AND PLAYING GAMES
8. EVERWOOD

2003-02-02T16:13:00.000-08:00

THIS FEELING, THIS HATE, THIS PAIN, THIS LONELINESS, THIS SADNESS, THIS CONFUSION, THIS DARKNESS, THIS FEELING INSIDE I CAN'T SEEM TO LET OUT. THESE QUESTIONS SWARMING IN MY HEAD, MY HEART, AND INNER SELF. THIS CONSTANT FIGHT. THIS UNANSWERABLE QUESTION LYING DEEP INSIDE OF MYSELF WHICH CALLS OUT DESPERATELY FOR A HAND. ONLY NO ONE WANTS TO HELP. I CRY...

I WANT TO KNOW WHY I'M IN A CONSTANT STRUGGLE THAT SEEMS TO NEVER END. I WANT TO CALL OUT TO SOMEONE FOR HELP BUT NO ON LISTENS OR CHOOSES NOT TO HEAR. I DON'T WANT THIS. I WANT TO THROW IT ALL AWAY. SOMETIMES I WONDER ABOUT THE ACTIONS OF OTHERS AND HOW I COULD INTERPRET THEM. WHILE TAKING A SHOWER ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS YELL AT THIS PARTICULAR GIRL. I WANTED TO YELL AND HATE HER. I WANTED TO HATE HER SO THAT I COULD RID OF HER FROM MY LIFE. I WANTED HER TO FEEL THE PAIN THAT'S BEEN GROWING INSIDE OF ME BUT I KNEW THAT I COULDN'T. I COULDN'T ALLOW SUCH A THING BECAUSE I LOVE HER AS A FRIEND. SHE IS MY FRIEND. I'VE ALWAYS CONSIDERED HER AS ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS. YET WHEN SHE WANTED TO KNOW WHY I WAS ATTEMPTING SO HARD TO TRY TO START A CONVERSATION VIA AIM, SHE WONDERED WHY I WAS MAKING IT INTO A CHORE. IT'S BECAUSE IN MY OWN WORLD I THOUGHT FRIENDSHUP SHOULDN'T BE A CHORE BUT SOMETHING MORE. I WANTED TO TALK TO HER MORE THAN TO OTHER PEOPLE I TALK TO. I WANTED TO TAKE THE EXTRA STEP WITHOUT MAKING IT SEEM LIKE IT WAS SOME KIND OF CHORE. I WANTED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED AND WHAT SHE FELT. YET IF SHE HAD THAT ATTITUDE WHEN I ATTEMPTED TO TALK TO HER, THAN DOES SHE FEEL OUR FRIENDSHIP AS A MERE CHORE. MAYBE I LIVE IN A DELUSIONAL WORLD AND NOTHING REALLY MAKES SENSE. MAYBE I'M JUST A CONFUSED RETARD TRYING TO MAKE SENSE OF A SENSELESS WORLD WHICH REALLY DOESN'T HAVE A MEANING AT ALL. YET I SEE MYSELF AS THOSE WHO WANT TO FIND SOME MEANING IN THIS CHAOTIC HOLE.

MAYBE..

From Fruits Basket: Hana-chan said, "until those two can resolve the darkness in their souls, there is no room for a [romantic love] relationship in their hearts."

WHAT THE FUK. I ALWAYS THOUGHT PEOPLE WERE JUST PRETTY BUT WHAT THE HELL. WHEN THIS GIRL JINNY OR WHATEVER FROM SCHOOL CAME OUT HELLA FIONE ON HER SITE... I JUST SAY.. SCREW ALL PICTURE TAKING CRAPS. THEY PURPOSELY TAKE GAZILLION PICTURES AND CHOOSE THE ONES THAT ARE HELLA FIONE!! THIS IS SO BULL SHIETZ...!!! I MEAN SERIOUSLY... FUKKK..... DAYAM... BUT THAN I THINK.. HOW ABOUT THOSE PEOPLE WHO COME OUT UGLY...

TOOK FROM SOME GUY...

YOU ARE MARRIED TO A WoODCHUCK!!!

what's YOUR deepest secret?
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2003-02-02T12:14:00.000-08:00

I LOVE SLEEPING...

FEELING VERY TIRED. LAST NIGHT AFTER CELEBRATING NEW YEARS I SLEPT AT 12 AND WOKE UP AT 12 YAY. I WOKE UP AROUND 8 BUT THAN I FELT SO TIRED THAT I CONTINUE TO SLEEP UNTIL 12. I THINK IT WOULD HAVE BEEN PERFECT IF I JUST STAYED AWAKE FROM 8 BUT THAN MY TIREDNESS OVERWELMED ME AND SO I SLEPT UNTIL 12. T____T TRUTHFULLY LAST NIGHT WAS FUN IN IT'S OWN WAY. JULIA CAME OVER AND WE WATCHED "WHAT LIES BENEATH" AND IT MADE ME FORGET HOW MISERABLE I FELT AT WORK. WORK NEVER MAKES ME FEEL GREAT. NOT BECAUSE OF THE WORK BUT BECAUSE OF ALL THE PEOPLE. ANYWAYS....

IT SEEMS LIKE PEOPLE USE THEIR BLOG IT RANT ABOUT THINGS THAT'S BOTTLED INSIDE OF THEM. YET I FAIL TO DO SO. EVEN IF I HAVE SOMETHING INSIDE OF ME I WANT TO LET OUT, I DON'T WANT TO. IT'S REALLY WEIRD. MAYBE I'M JUST THAT KIND OF PERSON. I DON'T REALLY HAVE ANYTHING TO RANT ABOUT OR EVEN IF I DO, I GET "SCARED" I JUST LET IT ALL OUT. I WONDER WE MIGHT READ THIS AND WHAT THEY MIGHT THINK ABOUT IT. SO WHENEVER I WRITE OUT MY PROBLEMS, I SORT OF CENSOR IT. LIKE I TAKE OUT THEIR NAMES OR SOMETIMES JUST TELL HALF THE STORY. THIS HAS BEEN ANNOYING ME FOR A WHILE. CONSIDERING HOW THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MY LITTLE SECRET DOMAIN WHERE I COULD RANT ABOUT ANYTHING THAT BOTHERS ME. HOWEVER, THROUGH THE MONTHS, IT BECAME MORE OF A DAY WHERE I'LL TRY TO RELATE EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED ON THAT DAY AND EVEN THAT I SUCK AT IT. I PARTIALLY TELL WHAT HAPPENED AND MAKE IT SEEM LIKE THAT'S ALL WE DID ON THE DAY. I DON'T REALLY CARE IF ANYONE KNOWS WHAT REALLY HAPPENED ON THAT DAY BUT I CARE ABOUT THE EMOTION LEVELS I EXPERIENCED ON THAT DAY. LIKE ON FRIDAY I FELT SO GOOD RELATING TO HELERY ON SO MANY LEVELS. I REALIZED THAT WE HAD SIMILAR SITUATIONS AND WE HAD SOMEWHERE TO BOND AND TALK ABOUT. IT FELT SO NICE SEEING AS NO ONE ELSE SEEMS TO UNDERSTAND HOW I FELT. IT WAS LITERALLY A BREAK THROUGH FOR ME. I JUST FELT HAPPIER AFTER THAT NIGHT. ^_____^

I WANT TO GO AND BUY SOME FOOD...

I REALLY NEED TO WORK OUT. THIS STRANGE STOMACH SEEMS TO BE PERTRUDING OUTWARD AND IF I DON'T STOP IT NOW, IT MIGHT CONTINUE TO GROW AND GROW. SHIETZ, MY STOMACH IS STARTING TO HURT. I DON'T FEEL LIKE BLOGGING MUCH SO BUH BYE.

CHANGE COLORS AGAIN. I CAN'T HELP BUT KILL YOUR EYES AGAIN. ^___^

PRETTY NO? I REALLY WONDER HOW MY LIFE WOULD HAVE BEEN IF I WAS TALLER, HAD BIGGER EYES, AND A SMALLER FACE... I'LL STILL PROBABLY BE MISERABLE... AHHH

Hyori is damn hot... ^____^

ISN'T HE JUST ADORABLE?

2003-02-01T12:25:00.000-08:00

HOW STRANGE, MY INTERNET CONNECTION WAS SUPPOSED TO DISCONNECT LAST NIGHT BUT THAN IT DIDN'T. STRANGE. THEY HAVE BEEN TELLING ME IT'LL DISCONNECT FROM DECEMBER 16 BUT THAN LATER THEY MOVED IT TO JANUARY AND NOW IT'S FEBRUARY. I SUPPOSE THEY AREN'T REALLY PLANNING TO CLOSING IT DOWN. MAYBE I WAS SUPPOSED TO CALL AND SAY I DON'T NEED THE INTERNET OR SOMETHING. BUT IN THE EMAIL IT SPECIFICALLY SAID IT WOULD AUTOMATICALLY SHUT DOWN IF WE DON'T SIGN UP AGAIN. I GUESS I DIDN'T READ THE SMALL TEXT OR WHATEVER.

I SHOULD BE GOING TO WORK RIGHT NOW BUT AS USUAL MY SISTER IS LAGGING LIKE CRAZY. SHE WOULDN'T WAKE UP AND I'M WIDE AWAKE FOR SOMEONE WHO ONLY SLEPT 3 OR 4 HOURS. T____T IT WAS FUN. I WENT OVER THE HELERY'S HOUSE AND HELERY, JON AND I TALKED FOR A LONG TIME. I LITERALLY THOUGHT WE ONLY TALKED FOR LIKE 3 HOURS OR SOMETHING SO WHEN JON ASKED WHAT TIME DO YOU THINK IT IS, I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE AROUND 3 AND IT WAS TIME FOR ME TO GO HOME. BUT I FIND OUT IT WAS AROUND 5. IT WAS SO FUN. LITERALLY THOSE KIND OF GATHERINGS ARE THE BEST. I WOULD HAVE LIKED OTHER PEOPLE TO COME BUT BEING IN OUR OWN SMALL GROUP HAS IT'S... GOOD THINGS...

I AM SO HAPPY THAT WE HAVE THIS FOUR DAY BREAK AND ON TOP OF THAT I DON'T HAVE ANY HOMEWORK DUE. YOU COULD SEE A HUGE DIFFERENCE IN ME AS I'M A LOT MORE "HAPPIER"... IT'S A NEW SEMESTER AND A NEW START. EVEN THOUGH I WOULD MISS EVERYTHING, I THINK I DID SOMETHING FUN EACH DAY AND I'M SO HAPPY I DID IT. I HOPE WE CAN HANG OUT AGAIN TOMORROW, IT'LL BE FUN. WHILE TALKING TO THEM WE STARTED TO TALK ABOUT RANDOM THINGS. THAN I BEGAN TO WONDER ABOUT MY PAST. MY PAIN OR WHATEVER. I THINK EVERYONE HAS SOME SECRET TO HIDE. SOME THINGS THEY JUST DON'T WANT TO TELL ANYONE. EVEN THOUGH I WANTED TO TELL THEM, I FELT LIKE I SHOULDN'T. IT SHOULD BE MY OWN SECRET THAT I STRUGGLE WITH. SOMETHING I WANT TO KEEP TO MYSELF AND WHEN THE TIME COMES TELL OTHERS. I DON'T FEEL RIGHT NOW IS THE TIME. I THINK EVERYONE HAS SOME TYPE OF SECRET, NO MATTER HOW SMALL OR MINISCULE, AND THE FUN (I SUPPOSE) IS FINDING IT OUT. ^_____^ ANYWAYS....

I KEEP WONDERING IF I MADE THE RIGHT DECISIONS IN LIFE. I'M HAPPY WITH HOW MY LIFE TURNED OUT BUT THAN WHAT IF SOME THINGS NEVER HAPPENED. FOR INSTANCE, WHAT IF I NEVER BECAME PARTNERS IN THE RANDOM DRAWING IN FIFTH GRADE AND BECAME JANICE'S PARTNER. WOULD I HAVE GOTTEN TO KNOW HER AND WOULD I HAVE GOTTEN TO KNOW GINA AND RENEE? THAN WOULD I HAVE GOTTEN TO KNOW JOANN THROUGH GINA'S FRIEND LISA WHO TECHNICALLY INTRODUCED US TO HELERY AND JULIE? HOW WOULD MY LIFE HAVE BEEN? I FEEL LIKE WITH THE GROUP OF FRIENDS RIGHT NOW, I MIGHT HAVE BEEN OUT OF THE PICTURE WHICH IS REALLY SAD TO IMAGINE. IT SCARED ME FOR A SECOND WHEN HELERY SAID, "I THINK YOU WOULDN'T BE HERE." LITERALLY A JOULT OF ENERGY WENT THROUGH ME.. IT FELT MORE LIKE FRIGHT AND THAN LATER I REALIZE, "WOW" THERE IS ALWAYS SOME KIND OF CHAIN REACTION WHERE AN EVENT SOMEHOW ALTERED THE OUTCOME. IT'S SORT OF CREEPY TO THINK ABOUT AT TIMES... BUT SOMETIMES, I FIND MYSELF THINKING IF I MADE THE RIGHT DECISIONS OR NOT. RIGHT NOW I HAVE FRIENDS WHO MAKE ME SMILE BUT I ALSO HAVE FRIENDS WHO MAKE ME CRY AND I THINK TO MYSELF IF IT'S REALLY WORTH IT... SHOULDN'T I JUST WALK AWAY FROM THEM? I DON'T KNOW... ANYWAYS.. ON A HAPPIER NOTE...

I WASHED MY CAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! SO HAPPY. EVEN THOUGH IT STILL LOOKS CRAPPY (COME ON!!! IT'S LIKE A GAZILLION YEARS OLD) I AM SO HAPPY. NOW I WON'T BE AS EMBARASSED. BUT I'M AFRAID IT'LL GET ALL DIRTY BEFORE SCHOOLSTARTS AND I GO BACK TO SCHOOL WITH THE SAME CRAPPY OLD CAR. SADNESS....

I'VE BEEN HAVING A LOT OF DREAMS LATELY. I SECRETLY WANT TO BECOME A J-ROCK STAR. NOT THOSE FREAKY ONES BUT THOSE "CUTE" ONES. WHERE THEY WEAR THOSE DARK MAKE UP AND THOSE LITTLE WIGS WITH BRIGHT FRUITY COLORS. I DON'T KNOW. I THINK SOME OF THEIR CLOTHES ARE REALLY CUTE. I GUESS I SHOULD GO AND TRY TO FIND SOMEONE. LIKE IN MY DREAM I WAS WEARING THIS LITTLE BLACK TUTU WITH HIGH HEEL BOOTS AND A COLLAR SHIRT WITH A LITTLE TIE AND ONE ARM WAS CUT OFF AND ON MY ARMS THERE WERE BANDAGES. T____T I DON'T KNOW BUT THAN IT WOULD BE COOL IF I COULD BECOME ONE FOR ONE DAY. AND I WORE ALL THESE DARK MAKE UP AND I WORE A LITTLE WIG THAT WERE IN THE SHAPE OF BUNS AND LITTLE BANGS IN THE FRONT. IT WAS REAL FUNNY TO DREAM THAT AND THAN I TURNED INTO A J-POP SINGER. LOL... I AM STUPID.

I'M RANTING A LOT HUH? YEA... JUST REALLY AWAKE RIGHT NOW WHICH IS REALLY WEIRD. I KNOW I'LL BE DEAD BY 2 TODAY AT WORK. MY MOM IS GOING TO KILL ME. HEHEHE

2003-01-31T12:08:00.000-08:00

SO TIRED. BUT CONTENT...

YESTERDAY, AFTER YELLING AND FORCING MY BROTHER TO GET A HAIR CUT, HE FINALLY GOT A HAIRCUT. BUT SADLY, HE HATED IT. HE HATED ME. I WAS SO SAD THAT I RAN INTO RITE AID AND HID. I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF. I JUST THOUGHT IT WOULDN'T BE SO BAD BUT IT HURT MORE WHEN HE SAID HE HATED ME AND WANTED ME TO GO TO HELL. I'M TOO SENSITIVE SO I CRIED AND GOT REPRIMANDED BY MY SISTER FOR CRYING OVER SUCH A PATHETIC ISSUE. BUT YET I STILL FELT BAD. LATER I BOUGHT HIM ICE CREAM AND FOR THE WHOLE DAY TRIED TO GET ON HIS GOOD SIDE. I LISTEN TO WHAT HE SAID AND SHOWED ME THINGS ON THE COMPUTER AND THINGS THAT INTERESTED HIM AND THERE WERE SO MANY THINGS. LIKE THE UPCOMING DEVIL MAY CRY 2 AND HOW MUCH HE WANTED IT, THE TRAILER TO FFX WHICH I LOVE THEIR OUTFITS EVEN THOUGH IT IS MAJORLY REVEALING, DATING SIMS AND THIS ANIME HE REALLY LIKED CALLED HAIBANE RENMEI??? IT WAS REALLY NICE AND THIS TIME I HAD TIME TO TALK TO HIM BECAUSE I DIDN'T HAVE ANY MORE FINALS AND I WAS'T REOCCUPIED ON THE COMPUTER. THAN MY SISTER, MY BROTHER AND I WATCHED LEGALLY BLONDE AND IT'S A NICE MOVIE. IMPOSSIBLE BUT POSSIBLE.

LATER JULIA CALLED IF I WANTED TO GO WITH HER AND THE CLASS TOTHE BEACH BUT THAN I REFER STAYING HOME. YET WHEN HEL CALELD TO GO TO VICTOR'S HOUSE I WENT. IT'S MORE RELAXING. IF I WENT TO THE BEACH I KNOW I WOULD HAVE HAD A CRAPPY TIME, SEEING AS WHAT KIND OF PERSON I AM. TOO SHY, TOO ANTI SOCIAL.. HAHAHA BUT I STILL THINK I MADE THE RIGHT DECISION BECAUSE I HAD A LOT OF FUN LAST NIGHT. TOO BAD WE DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO BUY MORE FOOD. I WAS SO HUNGRY BUT WHEN I CAME HOME, PRETTY EARLY COMPARED TO OTHER TIMES BUT I CAME HOME AROUND 11. I FELL RIGHT ASLEEP AND I THOUGHT I WOULD WAKE UP AROUND 8 BUT THAN I WOEK UP AT 11:30 AND TOOK A SHOWER. SO... TIRED... HAHAHAHA

hELERY ALSO RECEIVED HER LATE BRITHDAY PRESENT FROM ME AND I'M SO GLAD SHE LIKED IT. OH AND NEXT TIME LET'S GO TO THE BEACH TO LOOK AT THE SUNSET. ^___^

ENJOY YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW.

BUH BYE

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Let a Random Quiz tell you what to read.

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You're one of those people who likes to read about warm tender moments full of sunsets and roses and the most touching proclamations ever conceived. You get enough reality in your day to day life. When reading, you want something that's complete fantasy.
Just out of interest... What exactly were you doing watching Gundam Wing?

i THINK THIS IS MORE OF ME... I like...

Let a Random Quiz tell you what to read.

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this quiz was made by Psyche
You'll probably say you like realism, but what you actually mean is that you like a combination of realism and romance. You want to see things portrayed in a pretty realistic way, but not so realistic as to remind you of your own, sad, pitiful little life.

2003-01-30T01:41:00.000-08:00

It's pretty bOa... anyways.. here is the translation.. might be wrong here and there but you have to know i'm not a complete FOB.

Someone was saying...
Even though it's impossible for one to have a star,
they would rather prefer looking at the beautiful star in the sky...
But I disagree...
Instead of grinning like a fool and looking at the star...
I'll grab the star and place it right next to me...
And fully embrace in it's beauty
The star... is you... the one i truly love

AHHHHH wasting time looking at other people's blog. While surfing through the net, I realized a gazillion people put up their pix. I wanna take some and put some up. Ah too bad my friend returned her camera. So until I buy one... laters...

I'm realizing how gay it sounds in english or maybe i just did a horrible translation. No wonder Tim was mad when I translated Shaman King manga for him...

2003-01-29T13:50:00.000-08:00

TODAY'S RANT IN PRETTY POINTLESS... I THINK YOU MIGHT KILL YOURSELF AFTER READING THIS PATHETIC ENTRY. DO IF YOU WANT TO LIVE, JUST DON'T READ.

ONE MORE DAY AND ALL IS OVER... FINALLY... I JUST HAVE BIO AND ECON... ^___^ I FEEL SO TIRED THESE DAYS. I HOPE I'M NOT GETTING A COLD OR ANYTHING. I'VE BEEN HAVING MINOR COUGHS BUT THEN EACH DAY ITS GETTING A LITTLE WORSE. WHAT TO WRITE ABOUT... ABSOLUTELY NOTHING...

I HAD ALL THESE THINGS PLANNED OUT IN MY HEAD TO WRITE ABOUT BUT THEN POOF* IT ALL DISAPPEARED FROM THE MOMENTS I GOT ONTO THE COMPUTER. HATE THOSE... WHATEVER.. IT COME BACK SOONER OR LATER

WELL I HAVE A PROBLEM. I HAVE A PROBLEM OF PULLING OUT MY HAIR. AND YES, YOU MIGHT THINK, EWWW... IT'S LIKE AN OBSSESSION. I JUST LIKE TO PICK A RANDOM HAIRSTRAND AND PULL IT OUT. I DON'T KNOW WHY. I THINK IT MIGHT BE BECAUSE WHEN I WAS YOUNGER I USED TO HAVE SO MUCH HAIR AND REALLY WANTED TO REDUCE THE AMOUNT. SO EACY DAY I PULLED OUT LIKE THREE OR FOUR STRANDS. I GOT SO USED TO PULLING OUT MY HAIR IT DOESN'T HURT. BUT THEN AFTER SEEING A DOCUMENTARY ABOUT A WOMAN WHO HAD A PROBLEM OF PULLING OUT HER HAIR, I STOPPED. IT WAS SO DISTURBING. SHE WAS LITERALLY BALD AND ON TOP OF THAT SHE CAN'T GROW ANYMORE HAIR BECAUSE HER ROOTS WERE DEAD OR SOMETHING. IT WAS JUST SAD TO LOOK AT. BUT THAN THESE DAYS I'M STARTING TO PULL AGAIN AND IT'S BOTHERING ME. I THINK I DO IT THE MOST WHEN I'M REALLY NERVOUS AND WHILE TAKING THE FINALS, I GET REAL NERVOUS. T______T

PEOPLE ARE WEIRD...

CAN'T WAIT UNTIL FRIDAY COMES SO I COULD RELAX. I REALIZED HOW POINTLESS THIS BLOG WAS TODAY. I SHOULD JUST DELETE IT BUT THEN I WANT TO SAVE IT IN MEMOIRS OF HOW PATHETIC I AM. SERIOUSLY... I REALLY HAD A LOT OF THINGS THAT WERE ON MY MIND, BUT I FORGOT. I THINK IT'S EASIER TO JUST RANT ABOUT NOTHING RATHER THAN SOMETHING...

You are the narcissist who just doesn't care. Generally quiet, solitary, and intelligent, you are the "coolest" of narcissists. Always looking beautiful, you're respected by many, although often considered snobbish. Deep inside, you may be very lonely and sad.

What Kind of Narcissist Are You?
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2003-01-28T14:54:00.000-08:00

FINALS WEEK... HOW DEPRESSING... WHY DOES THE FINALS ALWAYS MAKE ME SO DEPRESSED. IS IT BECAUSE IT FINALLY PROVES TO ME WITHOUT AN END THAT I LEARNED ABSOLUTELY NOTHING THIS SCHOOL YEAR? OR ELSE IS IT BECAUSE STUDYING FOR IT IS A DRAG? WHATEVER IT MAY BE, I THINK I'M GOING TO BE IN A GRUMPY MOOD FOR A WHILE UNTIL FRIDAY COMES WHERE I'LL WASTE THE DAY WATCHING ANIME. I'M GOING TO WRITE IN CAPS NOW. I DON'T KNOW WHY. I THINK IT LOOKS COOLER. (EVIL LAUGH)

TECHNICALLY ME HITTING THE CAR IN FRONT OF ME IS BECAUSE OF THIS GIRL FROM SCHOOL WHO WAS HONKING AT ME. I THINK SHE SAW ME HIT THE CAR, BUT WHATEVER. THE GUY CAME LAST NIGHT TO PICK UP THE MONEY. THEY ARE A PERSISTENT BUNCH. I LITERALLY WANTED TO RIP THEIR HEADS OFF. SO I HAD TO HAND OVER THE 250 DOLLARS TO FIX SOMETHING. FOR ME, EVEN THOUGH THERE MIGHT BE DAMAGE TO MY CAR, I DON'T CARE. I LITERALLY DON'T CARE WHAT HAPPENS TO MY CAR. IT'S SORT OF SAD. USUALLY I DON'T CARE WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF MY CAR. NUMEROUS PEOPLE TOLD ME I HAD A CRAPPY CAR AND IT NEEDED A WASH BUT THEN I DIDN'T CARE. AS LONG AS I COULD TAKE THEM AROUND, GO TO SCHOOL AND COME BACK HOME I WAS HAPPY.

YET...

TODAY I WAS A LITTLE DEPRESSED BECAUSE THIS GUY I LIKED SAW MY CAR. I FELT EMBARASSED. WHICH IS A REALLY WEIRD FEELING. I DIDN'T CARE WHAT ANYONE THOUGHT OF MY CAR. YET WHEN I SAW HIM LOOKING AT MY CAR, IT FINALLY HIT ME. I DRIVE AROUND IN A GHETTO CAR. SO NOW I WANT TO WASH MY CAR BECAUSE I MIGHT SEE HIM TOMORROW. ON TOP OF FEELING EMBARASSED OF MY CAR, I FELT EMBARASSED ABOUT MY OUTER APPEARANCE. NOW A DAYS I SHOULD TRY TO LOOK BETTER BUT... HOW? HOW CAN I LOOK ANY BETTER THAN HOW I DO NOW. DON'T GET THE WRONG IDEA, I'M NOT TRYING TO SEE I LOOK GREAT BUT I'M SAYING THIS IS THE BEST IT CAN GO WHICH IS PATHETIC. T_______T

I REALLY SHOULDN'T CARE ABOUT LITTLE THINGS. TODAY IS JUST ANOTHER DAY. I HAVE TOMORROW TO LOOK FORWARD TO... YAY... (FALSE ENTHUSIASM)

DAMN I HATE IT WHEN MY COMP LAGS. I THINK IT'S BECAUSE MY BROTHER HAS BEEN ON IT FOR LIKE THREE DAYS STRAIGHT DOWNLOADING ANIME AND MY COMPUTER COULD TAKE SO MUCH. POOR THING. HE WAS SENDING SOMETHING TO HIS FRIEND BUT THEN THE COMPUTER LAGGED SO MUCH THAT IT STOPPED. NOW HIS FRIEND IS AWAY SO I CAN'T SEND IT BACK SO I MIGHT AS WELL SHUT DOWN THE COMPUTER. LIFE IS A BUTT....

Which Hellsing character are you?

2003-01-27T16:21:00.000-08:00

FUK!!!! I hit a fuking car todaii. Can the day be any better? Now I just have to wait for her to call me and tell me of some retarded reason that I have to pay her. There was literally NO dents. On top of hitting her in the first place, while she was asking me to take out my license, my car freakin rolled down and hit her car again. Now who in the world just parks their car in the middle of the street down the hill. I think she was worried I'll run off. Sorry lady but than I am not one of those people who will run off. I know it's my fault for not watching the road and will gladly pay for any damage. but than that doesn't mean she had to get my license and everything in the middle of the road and cause traffic. I kept asking her five times if we could move to the side of the road which I'll be willing to tell her my insurance and everything. FUK she pisses me off and on top of that she was a fuking *cougharmeniancough* woman who just was grumpy up the ass. I have this awful feeling inside of me that I'm going to see her again.

Now... what else happened today. Felt like shiet and looked like shiet. which is an everyday occurence but it bothers me none the less. Studying for finals is going to kill me and instead of coming straight home to study I had to take jOolia to GCC so she can sign up and I had a major workout. My body aches. Later I played games with my brother. I kicked his ass like CRAZIEE.. Well.. I'm over exaggerating BUT I ruled. Anyways... good influence I'm being for my younger brother. Playing games and not studying for finals. YAY...

After finals I'm going to use my break watching anime and being LAZIEE... Being lazy is the best... unless you procastinate and stay up until 5 in the morning trying to finish it all.

Lately I've been daydreaming a lot about having a boyfriend. I think I just want to have the experience before highschool ends. I want to go to school all excited and dress up trying to impress my man. But then my insecurities jumps in at the right time. I'll probably think of impossible things happening when they really aren't. I'm probably going to think he's cheating on me or staying with me only because he doesn't want to hurt my feelings. I feel like I'm going to be a horrible girlfriend. I might be worse than my sister. T____T At least if I don't have the looks I should have the personality but than I have neither.

It makes me depressed. I feel so insecure about relationships because I know there are better looking girls than me and I feel like he's going to cheat on me. I feel he's going to lose interest in me in like a week. I don't think I have the ability to make him feel excited to be with me. For some reason I just don't feel like there are REAL sincere guys out there. Unless I get some ugly dork. But if he become successful in the business world and has a lot of money, he could buy himself some hot playboy girl.

Whatever.... I just have to wait for Mr. Right. I know I'm going to experience betrayal and what not sooner or later. But I just don't want to go through the pain.

Expressionless and wise, you are child genius Hoshino Ruri from the anime series Nadesico. You tend to be an observer than a participator; realistic rather than optomistic. You also see the world in a rather cynical sort of way. Its tough being a genius. Everywhere you go, you just see idiots. However, just because everyone around you happened to be a dimwit doesn't mean you can't have a little fun every now and then.

Which Anime Kid Are you?

Test Created By oronoda

Hoeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

You're a Magical Girl!

You're sugar-hyped, caffeine-hyped, and permanently genki-er than a whole busload of Disney characters on crack. You eat too much, you're a total klutz, and somehow this makes you an ideal candidate for saving the world. If you're really unlucky, you get to get naked in an embarrassing transformation sequence in every single episode, with only a few sparkles and pastel blobs to cover your dignity.

Which generic anime character are you?

2003-01-27T02:47:00.000-08:00

Well staying up late talking to Seong and Victor about what we should go as to Anime Expo.
This is what we have so far...

Farra- Hana
Helery- Honda Tohru
Janice- Uo
Victor- Shigure
Seong- Kyou
Jon- Hatori (doctor)
Gina- Kisu (tiger)

It can change but then this is what we decided so far... hehehe... yea.. I am tired now... T___T

2003-01-26T12:10:00.000-08:00

What do j00 think about the color change? People's been telling me my blog's colors make their eyes bleed so now I changed it to the color I least wanted to change it to.. black.. So be happy...

Damn I'm tired. Even though I woke up at 9 I couldn't get out of bed. T____T So instead I woke up at 11:30 and took a shower. I have sores all over my body which sucks buttass because I think it's cuz I slept in a weird position because of my hair from YESTERDAY!!! I have SOOOO much fun.

Even though things didn't turn out as planned such as everything being behind schedule and me running off to kinko to print some programs, the important things is that I had fun!!!

HELERY!!! I WISH YOU THE BEST HAPPY BRITHDAY AND CONTINUE TO LIVE YOUR LIFE FULL OF HAPPINESS. AND!!!! THE ROAD TRIP IS ONNNNNN!!!! ok?

AFter leaving the party at 10 I got to finally talk to Gina. It's been a while since we actually got to "talk" because I mean there is school, but it's different. You can get so far talking in school... I'm finally glad she told me some things and hope in the future we can be able to open up to each other more and become people in our lives where they would last a meaningful impression. Like when Gina said that if she found out some random person died on the plane, in stead of crying in remorse or whatnot, she'll say, "He/She was so young." But then if she found out I died than she'll actually cry. ^_____^ Gina stayed over until 3 and I think we both hoped the day wouldn't end because if it did... We would have all these "other" things waiting for us.

Basically last night was the best. I cant get into more details than that. I feel that I've grown a lot more than I think I did. I think everyone changed. These are various thinks GIna told me. She marveled at how much everyone changed. That's why it's not too late to change yourself right now. This year. THis semester. We can be with each other for only 5 months or so and we have to make the best of it. But still, when numerous people talk about wanting to go back to jr. high or something and changing something about themselves, I don't. Even though I think it would be nice, I'm glad of what kind of person I was in the past because literally is makes you the person you are right now. There is this long pathway and the direction you choose determines who you'll end up to be. You walk not towards ome kind of predestined destination but more like you determine which way you want to walk. You could walk backwards, forwards, west, and east. But no matter what, you're going to end up somewhere and I'm so happy life is that way. You can make your future and now I'm determined to make my life the most happiest is can possible be. I want to live my life full of patience, calmness, kindness and happiness. Such... impossible? words? Well right now at least I'll be happy knowing I'm trying.

Right now I want to also say I want to become closer with the people around me. I know high school is going to end soon and I want to be as close to them as possible. I want to get to know them and find out what they like and what they think. Basically try to make our relationship the most out of it??? Look, I'm babbling like a butt...

Which Pet Are You?

LOOOK IT"S A PUG!!!!!!

Which Fruits Basket (Furuba) Character are you?
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This site is very sweet.. feel free to visit. ^___^ www.theinterviewwithgod.com/popup2.html

2003-01-24T18:49:00.000-08:00

Well people of the internet world...
I came online to work on my FAFSA but then gave up in the process. I thought I could do it myself, however I'm planning to just do it by hand. T___T It's just there are so many places where I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do... IF you can help me than tell me... for only those who know me. I wouldn't want some complete stranger to come up to my door and say, "Hi. found out you needed some help so I tracked you down and found your location to help you on your FAFSA." Oh the joy....

School was ghetto ass. Boring like shietz... Such a waste of time. I can't say I aced the government test but then it wasn't bad. Let's see... ate pizza and a chili dog during lunch and than after school went to buy ice cream with JoOLia...

Than I remembered I needed to turn in my GCC transcript to colleges but then GCC Admission offcies were closed. So I went to pick up my bro and sis and than got into a major fight with my brother coming from school, when I took him to the library and on the way to buy Taco Bell. WHYYYY do we have to fight so much. Literally I wanted to push him out of the car. But.. Afterwards I felt horrible. I realized what a awful sister I am to him. He's so young and .. I don't know... I just feel real bad right now. Not only did I fight with my brother but my sister as well because I told her I was going to drop her off at her boyfriend's but than I left without telling her to tak emy brother to the library. And so her boyfriend bitched at her for not coming and so she bitched at me. Well.. to her little boyfriend, I think my brother getting a book from the library is a million times more important than taking my little sister to your little house where all I get is a waste of time and gas.

Anyways... the day is long and never ends. I have to deal with more crap everyday but than I hope not tomorrow because it's HELERY"S birthday... eck.. I hope my dress doesn't look weird.

2003-01-21T17:27:00.000-08:00

Hi people...
So how has everything been? Pretty ok. This and that has been happening but then that's life. Well school sucks as usual and right now my friend wants me to revise her essay but I really don't want to. I'm too laziee so I'm wasting the time writing in here because either way I have to go back and revise it. But then her essay is pretty good compared to the shitty one I wrote. BUT today was the last day to turn it in.. so i'm free.. I don't have to worry anyone.

Got a D on my math test but then it's pretty close to a C.. a LOW LOW C.. hahahaha Wow... boy am I pathetic. Been pretty depressed these days just from regular things in life. I keep wanting to zone out more frequetly these days. It's better than facing the real realities of the word I suppose. People been telling me I look better these days, but.. why do I always hate to see myself in the mirror. Why do I hate to even imagine myself in my mind? I shudder to look at myself in the bathroom mirror when I wait for my friend and sometimes when I see myself in the reflection of my cell phone I divert my eyes elsewhere... Sometimes I wonder why I have such low self esteem. I look at these people who are decent and they can carry themselves with an air of assurence. It's because they know that in life there are those who think they are pretty and those who don't. Or better yet, they just don't care. However, I care. Could it be jealousy?

I wouldn't know. Maybe it's just stupidity...

Thought this was nice so I'm posting it up here.

puff daddy ft. r kelly - satisfy you

Every night i pray, asking for forgiveness and help,
Stress is taking over my body and devil is taking over my soul.
God is the only one that can help me and give me full control.
Pain and hate inside of me.
Wish i could be in heaven so i can be happy and free.
Tears that pour out of my eyez.
I cant take anymore of all this shit and all these liez.
Stress thats inside of me.
Dont ask whats wrong cuz im the only one that can see.
Is there help? can anyone save me?
Can anyone come into my life and set me free?
God please help me for i surrender all to thee.

2pac - better dayz
Keep yo' head up and try to keep the faith
And pray for better days.

howie: im so sorry that i came back in ur life.. i hope u find someone that will love u someday... and someone who would wait for u this long as i have sigh.. even though u still dont have feelings for me.. i still love u till the end.. im sorry

2003-01-20T10:13:00.000-08:00

This week has been quite fun. Went to friend's house Friday, went to work Saturday and then to friend's house, and Sunday went to friend's house. Today I just sat in front of the computer at around 9 or 10 and finished my essay. YAY!!! I am so glad I am not procastinating at 12 in the night. It's because I plan to go out todaii.. but then I'm still trying to remember what other homework I had. Well anyways...

After two days of avoiding...

howie: hi farra
bAbYxSaRaNg: hi
howie: wat u doing?
bAbYxSaRaNg: writing essay
howie: ive missed u so much :-(
bAbYxSaRaNg: umm....
howie: o ic
howie: n/m
howie: sorry i even brought it up
bAbYxSaRaNg: i'm sorry
howie: u know
howie: if u gave me a chance
howie: id try to be the best bf
howie: and i would do things for u that nobody would do
howie: and like
howie: ill just shut up now
bAbYxSaRaNg: i know you would be the best boyfriend but then right now i don't reallie want tohave a relationship... espeically with someone i haven't seen for a long time and you don't even know me right now and see what kind of person i reallie am. you imagine me as the same girl from long ago...
howie: haha
howie: how come u assume so much?
howie: did i want u as my gf?
howie: all i wanted to say was
howie: i really missed u
howie: do u like boba or starbucks
howie: ?
howie: cuz i was gonna get some
howie: and was wondering if u wanted me to pick anything up for u
howiedaduckie: sigh.
bAbYxSaRaNg: o
bAbYxSaRaNg: hmmm not right now
bAbYxSaRaNg: maybe later
bAbYxSaRaNg: thanks anyways
howie: i fell in love with u 2 years ago
howie: and i promised to god
howie: id do anything if i met up with u again
howie: sigh
howie: i duno why im even telling u this
howie: imma bounce latez
bAbYxSaRaNg: bye

2003-01-18T01:46:00.000-08:00

kYoOtE? noO?

Who is your ideal Korean guy?
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He is so freakin fione... T____T

Who is your ideal Korean guy?
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On the other hand I like him too.. he is my IDEAL guy... ahhhhhhhhhhh BUT i can never forget you WONBIN~~~ anyways... excuse me before I go craziee...

Which Kingdom Hearts Character are You Most Like?
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What swear word are you?
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*. . . W O U L D Y O U R A T H E R . . .*
1) pierce your nose or tongue? Neither but then maybe my nose because I have less likely a chance to choke on a earring unless somehow the nose earring is so huge I suffocate...
2) be serious or be funny? Funny of course, I'm serious enough
3) drink whole or skim milk? Whole

* . . . A R E Y O U . . .*
4) simple or complicated? Both .. some way or another...

* . . . D O Y O U P R E F E R . . . *
5) flowers or angels? I love both
6) grey or gray? Does it even matter?
7) color or black-and-white photos? Color I suppose.. or black or white... I don't take many black or whites but then some of the ones I have seen of other people are nice..
8) lust or love? LOVE
9) sunrise or sunset? I prefer both.. and I'll like them more if I saw it with my love one...
10) M&Ms or Skittles? SKITTLES
11) rap or rock? RAP
12) staying up late or waking up early? STAYING UP LATE
13) TV or radio? TV
14) water or soda? H2O
15) eating apples or oranges? Both.. I like all fruits

* . . . A N S W E R T R U T H F U L L Y . . . *
16) Do you have a crush? Yes
17) Who is it? Like I REALLY write it out here... ask and you shall receive

* . . . D O Y O U P R E F E R . . . *
18) being hot or cold? cold
19) tall members of the opposite sex? YES~~~
20) sun or moon? Both...
21) emeralds or rubies? Both...
22) left or right? RIGHT
23) having 10 acquaintances or 1 best friend? 1 BEST FRIEND
24) sun or rain? Rain, there are romantic
25) vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream? Chocolate
26) boys or girls? BOYS! Sorry for those wanting me to be a lesbian...
27) green beans or carrots? Carrot
28) low fat or fat free? LOW FAT

* . . . M I S C E L L A N E O U S . . . *
29) What is your biggest fear in the world? Being forgotten and living a lonely existence
30) Kids or no kids? Preferable none
31) Cat or dog? DOG
32) Half empty or half full? Half full.. strangely
33) Mustard or ketchup? KETCHUP
34) Hard cover books or soft cover books? HARD
35) Newspaper or magazine? MAGAZINE
36) Sandals or sneakers? SANDALS
37) Wonder or amazement? AMAZEMENT
38) Red car or white car? WHITE
39) Happy and poor or sad and rich? Happy and poor... but sadly.. i get attracted to the greens
40) Singing or dancing? BOTH
41) Hugging or kissing? Hugging
42) Corduroy or plain? Don't really care...
43) Happy or sad? HAPPY
44) Purple or green? Don't care...
45) Blondes, brunettes? Who cares...

* . . . A B O U T Y O U . . . *
What time is it? 1:30 AM
Full name? Farra Park Bae
Nicknames: Farra Barra, Farbo T___T
Names and ages of siblings? Two, mi hermana Faryoung and mi hermano Soomin
Number of candles that appeared on your last birthday cake? 17!!!
Date that you regularly blow them out? on my birthday?
Pets? nope
Height? 5'...
Eye color? DARK BROWN
Hair color? Burgundy? Brown... same thing either way...
Piercing(s)? Used to have 9 on my ears but then now it went down to 5.. I want a belly pierce though...

* . . . W H A T D O Y O U W A N T . . . *
Where do you want to live? Here... I don't know anyone else
How many kids do you want? IF i want kids then probably around three like my family
What kind of job do you want? Pharmacist
Do you want to get married? Yea

* . . . W H I C H I S B E T T E R . . . *
2 doors or 4 (on a car) : 4
Coffee or ice cream? COFFEE
Shampoo or conditioner? MUST HAVE BOTH
Bridges or tunnels? Bridges
One pillow or two? TwO~~

* . . . W O R D A S S O C I A T I O N . . . * (first thing that comes to mind)
Rock? KRAZY LOUD AND ANNOYIN
Green? Clark
Crying? Heartbreak
Peanut? BUTTER
Roses? Lover
Summer? Vacation
Winter? snow~

¡¤
* . . . F A V O R I T E S . . . *
Salad dressing? Italian
Color of socks? WHITE
Toothpaste? COLGATE
Food? ANYTHING
Toothbrush? ?????
Alcoholic drink? No thanks
Non-alcoholic drink? Cactus Cooler
Sport to watch?
Character? ?????

* . . . R A N D O M Q U E S T I O N S . . . *
When was your last hospital check-in? I really don't remember
Where do you see yourself in 10 years? By then I would be 27.. Probably married to my dream husband and starting a career as a private pharmacist and living up somewhere in country club drive, member of the country club attempting to play golf while driving around in my BMW...
Have you ever been convicted of a crime? OF COURSE NOT!!!
What do you do most often when you are bored? Do absolutely nothing...
Name the person that you are friends with that lives the farthest away from you?
Are you open minded? Depends... no
Can you be in love with two people at the same time? Yes... hahahahaha Evil....

2003-01-17T19:02:00.000-08:00

so random but funnie~~~ He's so cute....

baBiEe ShOrTeE: hello
eCkOpL3X: hello farrah
eCkOpL3X: u sexy beast RAWR
eCkOpL3X: okay sorry
eCkOpL3X: im really bored
eCkOpL3X: did i spell ur name right?
baBiEe ShOrTeE: ^_____^ you so weird
baBiEe ShOrTeE: nope
baBiEe ShOrTeE: you spelled it wrongo
eCkOpL3X: darn

Now he wrote this on his away message... now I don't wanna even go online... (he's the one from below)

and this is to the special person... "sah rang is not meaningless.... its forever meaningful.. and it is sort of how i feel about u.. but too early hehe ;-)"

2003-01-16T21:48:00.000-08:00

Well this just happened right now... I don't know what to do or think... sorry to post such a long thing... i never thought something like this would happen to me... all this time... sigh*

The truth is.. i already have someone in my mind and maybe my heart... if he told me sooner I think things would have been different...

howie: how come u think of me as so eww?
bAbYxSaRaNg: eww?
bAbYxSaRaNg: why?
bAbYxSaRaNg: what?
howie: if i asked u out... would u say eww?
bAbYxSaRaNg: no i will be surprised
howie: how come?
bAbYxSaRaNg: BECAUSE
howie: because?
bAbYxSaRaNg: cuz why would you ask me out!
howie: wait..
howie: why would u be surprised?
bAbYxSaRaNg: the above
bAbYxSaRaNg: there is no reason for you to ask me out
howie: u dont know
howie: cuz i never told u
howie: but why would u be surprised?
bAbYxSaRaNg: from above
bAbYxSaRaNg: i would be surprised you would ask me
bAbYxSaRaNg: and then it would be weird
howie: but why???
howie: how come?
bAbYxSaRaNg: cuz people ask out people they know ro see or something
bAbYxSaRaNg: but then i never really saw you
howie: lol
howie: hmm..
howie: should i tell u? or should i let it go?
howie: errr..
howie: *howie thinks*
bAbYxSaRaNg: thinks?
howie: i dunno
howie: if i should tell u
bAbYxSaRaNg: WHAT?@
howie: ah neh yah
howie: mohae ?
bAbYxSaRaNg: ahh chatting and doing nothing
bAbYxSaRaNg: T_T
howie: hehe
howie: i read a journel that i found 2 days ago
howie: haha so funnie
howie: wat i wrote
bAbYxSaRaNg: what did you write?
howie: a wrote a lot about u
bAbYxSaRaNg: what?
howie: and my families past life
bAbYxSaRaNg: that's weird
howie: and wat rosemont was like
howie: wats weird?
howie: i didnt remember writing a journel
howie: and i was cleaning this one box
bAbYxSaRaNg: hahahaah
howie: and i found this book
bAbYxSaRaNg: wow surprises surprises
howie: and i opened it up
bAbYxSaRaNg: what?
howie: and i was like no way
howie: wat the heck is this?
howie: and i was like
howie: whoa
howie: i wrote about farra
howie: haha so weird
howie: and then i was like
howie: o yea hehe
howie: i know why i wrote about her

(long ass pause)
bAbYxSaRaNg: ...
howie: took me a while to forget about u
bAbYxSaRaNg: but...
bAbYxSaRaNg: i never knew
howie: i knew u would never feel the same way
howie: that i felt about u
howie: so i just kept it in
howie: and remember when i was always at ur house?
howie: n/m
howie: i dont want to say hehe
bAbYxSaRaNg: o
bAbYxSaRaNg: ah but then life goes on.. you have your life right now.. all fine and dandy huh? with your girlfriend
howie: u know wat.?
howie: im more of a man than before
howie: ill just say it all
howie: long time ago
howie: do u want to know?
bAbYxSaRaNg: if you want to say it
howie: im down with it
howie: do u want to know?
howie: if not it can stay a secret
bAbYxSaRaNg: ok
howie: well
howie: a long time ago
howie: when u were my neighbor
howie: i was always at ur house
howie: like playing games
howie: and cuz i was bored
howie: and after i a while
howie: i kept thinking about u
howie: and looking at u
howie: and then i started to like u
howie: but i knew u were always annoyed by me
howied: so i never told u
howie: and for a while
howie: i wrote in my journel
howie: about how pretty u were
howie: and how cool it would be to date u
howie: and some years went by
howie: and i really wanted to ask u out
howie: and tell u that i like u but i couldnt cuz i was so scared
howie: and then when i heard about ur dad and how u were gonna move
howie: i tried to tell u but i was too nervous and plus u wouldnt want to know
howie: and then u moved away
howie: and i went to 9th grade cv
howie: but u never came to cv
howie: u went to clark
howie: so i couldnt do anything
howie: i tried to get ur info
howie: but nobody knew u
howie: so for 2 years
howie: i just went through life
howie: trying to date girls
howie: and get over u
howie: but i never did
howie: and u were always on my mind
howie: and about a week ago
howie: i asked all of my friends
howie: but nobody did
howie: so i told everyone to spread the news
howie: and then i got one friend
howie: and he had ur sn
howie: ever since
howie: ive dated girls
howie: and i never really liked them
howie: and to be honest
howie: im still a virgin
howie: i dont want to lose my virginity
howie: i almost lost it when i was 13
howie: and all throughout hs i resisted thoses korean girls who seduce a lot
howie: hahahahhahahahhahahah
howie: and the gf i was with
howie: was a year ago
howie: and i got sick of pretending to move on
howie: cuz i dont seem to be able to
howie: so ive decided to be single till i get over u
howie: *howie takes another breathe*
howie: so yea
howie: thats about it

(damn long as pause)
bAbYxSaRaNg: sigh*
bAbYxSaRaNg: i never thought anyone would feel like that about me...
howie: ?
howie: lol
howie: if i told u this
howie: u would think im a fucking retard
howie: in my last entry
howie: of my journel
howie: i wrote
howie: in quote "if only i could date her once.. i know we would be together for the rest of her life.. i wish i lost my virginity to her"
howie: HAHAHHA
bAbYxSaRaNg: ah now i don't know what to say...
howie: there isnt anythign to say
howie: i know u dont feel the same way i feel about u
howie: so yea
howie: hehe
bAbYxSaRaNg: you feel like that about me now?
howie: well..
howie: i still do a lot
howie: but im trying to move on but its hard
howie: i could have had sex with so many girls
howie: and dated them
howie: and said i love u to them
howie: but i just couldnt
howie: i would have been able to do that with u
howie: but i knew u would never be with me
howie: so i never told u..
bAbYxSaRaNg: sigh*
howie: wats wrong?
bAbYxSaRaNg: i'm thinking
bAbYxSaRaNg: well i'm going to go now
howie: of wat?
bAbYxSaRaNg: bye
howie: aww..
howie: =\
howie: ok bye
howie: are u gonna come back tonight?
bAbYxSaRaNg: maybe
howie: well if u do
howie: ill be waiting... :-)
howie: ttyl

2003-01-16T19:06:00.000-08:00

Tiring day... test after test after work.. the day just goes on FOREVER...

Saw the most cutest korean drama. SHIETZ... TOO CUTE. It's called byul eul sso dah... it's about a young little boy who was a orphen and didn't learn how to read and write and so he carries around a recorder to listen to thinks and find his way around. And this older girl takes care of him and they love each other.. basically that's it... But then actually watching the story is hella cute... you just want to... sCrEaM... And the best thing is, the guy is hella hot and also he turns out to be a famous model and comercial person/movie star things in the show. He's isn't THAT FIONE but then how he acts.. just makes him just so wantable...

Maybe I should just go and find myself some younger guy... T________T

However todaii... the guy I sort of liked opened the door for me.. yet being a complete ass I just sort of looked at the floor and didn't even say thanks. EH whatever.. it's not like he would notice me if I said anything. I just walked through and then went to Justine. Sigh... and then while talking to Justine I tried to find him... but.. he left..

I think todaii might be my last day of internet.. when is SBC DSL going to come?

Sometimes you want to just be somewhere else...

2003-01-15T14:29:00.000-08:00

I failed my math test todaii but then all is good... (I don't know why)

Love is meaningless...

Yesterday I found out about a guy who killed his own mother and sister after a dispute.... sad huh? They lived a couple of blocks uphill or something... I couldn't believe it...

I really don't feel like saying much right now which is weird... I guess I'm a little down....

I really need to get started on my homework... bye

What FFVII character are you?? Find out here!!! by !!

2003-01-13T14:41:00.000-08:00

People shouldn't try to hide their true feelings. Especially feelings for someone. Each day I look at him and each day I feel sad because I know I will never be able to be with him. I keep telling myself to go on but then it's hard. I thought, "if i don't see him anymore than I won't want him anymore." It has been working quite well for a while but then you know sooner or later, you have to see him again. All the feelings I had bottled up inside of me, just seem to fall apart. All the feelings of loathe and hate disappear and all I want to do is be near him....

Just something I felt today. i hate this feelings

2003-01-12T11:17:00.000-08:00

I just scared the shietz out of myself. While reading a message from someone, I thought I saw a reflection of someone walking behind me on the computer screen and I thought it could have been my brother but then he is sleeping on his bed. Now... the mystery is... who was it. Maybe I imagined it but then it's still leaves a freaky feeling inside of me. Well the last two days has been SOOOOOOOOOOOOO fun. I went out and had fun. But then I just ate TOOO much. I hate eating too much because eventually I get fat. -___________-;;;;

I wish I could rant some more but then.. so tired... literally..

2003-01-11T10:02:00.000-08:00

Been thinking about things from yesterday. Aboutt he future and all. We were playing this little card game where we were supposed to ask question and see who it will come true for. Well even though I got the money the reaching her goals, great child and such, i didn't get one thing... a good looking husband and good looking child but then my friend did. Even though she didn't get anything great aside from the fact her child will be gorgeous and famous in the movie buisness. Well.. now that I think about it, who needs looks when you have the money and a great talented and smart child. but then when we asked, "Who would be the saddest in life" it landed on me...

Then I thought to myself... why? Sometimes maybe it's better to know these things even though they might not be true because you always have room to change them. You can always change your future. no matter what. Right now I have so many possibilities in life and I just have to make the move to make it that way. Right now I'm glad I played that games because it made me realize that a simple game can't determine my life but then it "could" have been my life if I went with the drift. There is no definite answer to how your life is going to be so all i do is.. wait...

2003-01-09T00:44:00.000-08:00

Right now I am resting from a strenuous day of revising my stupid english essay. Why must I always do everything last minute. Well the completed version is still due January 20 something so... I hope I don't procastinate.

2003-01-08T13:56:00.000-08:00

I can't describe this feeling I have inside of me. It's telling me to let it go but then I keep it in me. I don't know why I'm so weak whenever I feel this way. I want to yell and throw something to release this feeling that I have been bottling up but then I restrain myself. I have to restrain myself. I'm scared of what might come out and consume me.

Each day I look at my friends, and reminicse about the things we do and don't do. Questions roam through my mind without rest and I allow it to be. Am I really living? But I always manage to smile. I think a smile is one of the most dangerous weapons a person can use. You can never tell what is behind a smile. Each day I sigh and wonder when everything would be over but then no one knows, because I smile. Sometimes I wonder why I live such a pretentious life. Maybe.. it's easier than trying to see the truth. Because I see the real face of the world everyday, yet I try not to think about it too much. The world is too complex and complicated for me and I would rather not deal with anything right now. The world is empty. Empty smiles, empty promises...

Don't worry people, I'm not depressed. I can't say this I am depressed because I know what depression is like and it doesn't feel like it. I just feel.. relieved for some reason. i guess I did feel depressed last night though. It was pretty bad.. I just lie down on my bed and didnt want to think or move. I just lied down. I kept replaying the conversation i had in my head and wonder.. I wonder how I could be such a person. I realized how greedy and envious my soul is. I hate envy. I have to say envy is probably my worst sin. I try not to let envy come into my mind but then it always crepts in. I look at my pretty friend and wonder, "why couldn't i be that pretty?" I wonder about a lot of things these days. it's sort of all jumbled up in my head right now. I want to write everything down but then I don't know where to start. What to write down. But then while playing Mafia in my economic class, I realize that it doesn't matter. People will hate you or like you for whatever you are. No matter how ugly or stupid you are. You just have to accept it. And I also realized that if I hate something about me, I can ALWAYS change. Right now, I just want to smile a lot more. I don't want sadness to be in my life anymore. It doesn't mean I would avoid sadness but then I don't want to be sad for stupid reasons because there are a lot more things to be happy about....

Well I am so sorry for not making sense in my blogs these days. I guess I can't really seem to get the hold of writing logically or whatevers.. hehehe

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A well-known speaker walks in front of hundreds of people. He takes out a twenty-dollar bill and shows it to everyone. He asks the crowd, who wants this twenty-dollar? Immediately everyone's hand raises. The speaker than wrinkles the twenty-dollar bill and sticks it high in the air. He asks, now.. who still wants this twenty-dollar? Still, everyone's hands are raised. Then the speaker drops the twenty-dollar onto the ground and steps on it repeatedly. He then picks up the dirty twenty-dollar bill. He raises it in the air and asks, ok.. who still wants this twenty dollar? Everyone's hands were still raised.

The point of this message is no matter how dirty, filthy, and ugly we are, we will never lose our value. A dirty man and a clean man are both equal. We are both the same, because we are human beings.

This is my friend trying to pull something on me...

BanDit G: ey foo
bAbYxSaRaNg: hahahaah
bAbYxSaRaNg: hi john
BanDit G: hey ehy
BanDit G: you poopie grl..
BanDit G: this is not john
BanDit G: WAT YOU TALKING ABOUT WOMAN
BanDit G: haha
bAbYxSaRaNg: yes this is...
bAbYxSaRaNg: your profile is exactly like john
BanDit G: you figured someelse might be using his sn..else where.....this ain't john
BanDit G: haha
BanDit G: sucka...
BanDit G: so i know as poopie grl..
BanDit G: u got a name?
bAbYxSaRaNg: dis is john
BanDit G: who says...
BanDit G: U!??
bAbYxSaRaNg: yea
BanDit G: HAHA
BanDit G: WAt you gonna do if this ain't john
bAbYxSaRaNg: stop talking to you obviously
bAbYxSaRaNg: then who is this?
BanDit G: but i know who u are?
bAbYxSaRaNg: what
bAbYxSaRaNg: ?
BanDit G: this is his dawg.....so u got a name girly??
bAbYxSaRaNg: who?
bAbYxSaRaNg: tell me your name
BanDit G: you tell me yours...
bAbYxSaRaNg: farra
bAbYxSaRaNg: tell me yours
BanDit G: ohh~~ farra....
bAbYxSaRaNg: THIS IS JOHN RIGHT?
BanDit G signed off at 5:14:01 PM.

2003-01-07T19:09:00.000-08:00

Dude, i hate guys.

2003-01-07T01:16:00.000-08:00

MINORITY REPORT was awesome. It exceeded my expectations far more than I thought. Anyways.... After watching the movie it left me in a state of wonderment. But then if I get into it any more deeper, my head might explode, so just understand this much, I enjoyed the movie. A lot happened today but than I'm tired so I just want to tell everyone, have a great day. and tomorrow.

However, while randomly going through other people's profile, one person had a link to his blog or whatever. I was in shock while reading his little entries. They were so.. eerily.. cheery.. He is such a cheery person. I never thought such a cheery and very... fruity person existed. However, I knew from the moment he started to talk to me one night from a chatroom, i knew he wasn't some ordinary guy. He was introducing himself and asking me to do the same. To tell the truth, he frightened me so I choosed not to talk to him. I don't like guys who is too zealous in getting to know other people. He should try to restrain himself... Anyhow, the part that surprised me is that a source told me he is pretty popular with the girls. Maybe girls like the cherry sort of guy. But be careful. They are the most perverted. *coughbrettcough*

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2003-01-05T19:01:00.000-08:00

SHAMAN KING!!! I got it from TIM... THANKS!!! and they are in good qualities.. the only problem.. i still need to find some he doesn't have...
AZUMANGA DAOIH IS JUST TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO cute... !!! and the quality is pretty good as well..
FULL MOON WO SAGASHITE... too cute.. the cat boy is just TOOOOO cute...
AHHH i am going craziee right now.. anime is an addiction...
I also have unfinished homework.. i'm doomed...

2003-01-05T13:37:00.000-08:00

School is going to start in a few days, and I sit here wondering how different the people around me would be. I feel afraid and anxious to see how my fellow peers have changed as I haven't seen them for a whole two weeks. I know two weeks isn't enough for people to change but in a small way they will. I wonder how much I have changed and how much I want to change. For a long time I wanted to distant myself from the past Farra. The Farra I detested and hated for far too long. I tried to hide the old Farra in myself but then never realized how much I failed.

I really want to change. Winter break isn't a sufficient time to change but then slowly I want to forget the old self I was. It's been hard trying to turn into a person I have grown to perfect through these 17 years that I hate it. I detest myself so much that I desperately wish I could be someone else. I hated how shy I was and how antisocial I was around people and how I couldn't say or do what I wanted because I was always afraid of what people would think of me. By reclusing myself from the world, I have become someone no one knew at all. Those who tried to know me, I tried to push them away. Pushing them away, I realized int he end that I had no friends. No one to turn to when I felt my lowest. I need a change in my life right now. While reading my past entry, I realized that the old Farra was still in me. I thought I was to rid of her soon enough but then she only hid behind walls. She always showed herself now and then but then I failed to see her. She was growing deep inside of me but then I tried to hide her by telling myself that I was changing. But in the end, I am the same old me.

I suppose starting from last year I have undergone changes. But then I was never fully satisfied with myself. I knew I changed but then I knew I was the same Farra. My objective is to change from deep within. I don't want to change myself from looking at who I was in the past but then chaning as if I was starting from a clean slate. I don't want to list of what kind of person I want to be but rather become a person I am happy to be. I want to look at life 50 or 60 years from now and be happy with the chocies I made and didn't make. I want to know that life isn't a depressing and crappy place like I always imagined it to be. I know that I'll still be me but then I want to leave an impression on people's mine of someone they admired and looked up to. I want a smile to appear on their face as they remembered me and all the things they did with me. I want to be remembered for something more than a mere girl they knew in the past.

Somehow I'm not making sense to myself or to anyone who might be reading this. I realized that is how my life has been. I have been going through life aimlessly and without any direction or goal. I always thought something will turn up. O how I wonder how naive my mind is. I always hoped some higer being will show me the way or show me that there is reason in my life. I never realized that I can create them myself. My faith has been deteriorating for a while now. I haven't been going to church in a couple of months and yet I don't feel regret. Right now I need to have focus on my life right now and if I go to church it is evident that they will somehow change my opinions of what I have in mind. I need to see the big pictures rather than be held back by minor obstacles.

You people of the internet world might wonder why i suddenly have the urge to write such a long and boring entry. Well, it's thanks to Gina. While reading her blog, I was afraid that she might change into someone I didn't want to. I have always been afraid of change. Why? Because change usually equal friendships lost and such other bad things I don't want to think about. But then as I think of why I fear change. I look closely at my life and i realized that change should be embraced. i shouldn't be afraid of such a thing. Change is good. Change needs to appear in people's life. True that I should always lost things along the way but then I also have to realize I can build things along the way as well. So right now I want to know that I also need a change. Everyone needs to change someway or another. Gina, I support you one hundred percent.

Well anyways... Have a good day.

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2003-01-04T23:21:00.000-08:00

hey

2003-01-04T22:25:00.000-08:00

The stupidity of men.
While walking out of Kmart with my conditioner, a homeless men whose stench I could smell a mile away jumps out from some dark place and shouts out, "I love you." Do guys automatically believe I'll be won over by three meaningless words which he spewed out to get laid? Sometimes I wonder about the male population. yes, they are just pervert horny bastards ready to have sex if they can get any. The guy must not have used his head but listened to his pants.

The same thing happen to me while I was at Shells. I patiently waited for my change after I bought the hot dogs and nachos. This freaky Indian guy slowly puts his dirty hand on mine and says, "You beautiful, i love you."

Really, the words, "I love you" is losing all meaning that it had for me. Guys use it too much. Yea... I'm just so moved by that... Do they really think girls are dumb and horny enough to just be with them? I think they wish we were...

Silly person again...

bAbYxSaRaNg: Well was winter break relaxing for you?
K aNgTa SuC k: it was k
K aNgTa SuC k: didn't get laid or nethin -_-
K aNgTa SuC k: haha
bAbYxSaRaNg: hahaha geezzz is that all yout hink about... ?

Paranoid: High click for info
Schizoid: Low click for info
Schizotypal: Moderate click for info
Antisocial: Low click for info
Borderline: Moderate click for info
Histrionic: Moderate click for info
Narcissistic: Moderate click for info
Avoidant: Very High click for info
Dependent: High click for info
Obsessive-Compulsive: High click for info

Avoidant (how good is this?)
Avoidant personality disorder is characterized by extreme social anxiety. People with this disorder often feel inadequate, avoid social situations, and seek out jobs with little contact with others. They are fearful of being rejected and worry about embarassing themselves in front of others. They exaggerate the potential difficulties of new situations to rationalize avoiding them. Often, they will create fantasy worlds to substitute for the real one. Unlike schizoid personality disorder, avoidant people yearn for social relations yet feel they are unable to obtain them. They are frequently depressed and have low self-confidence.

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I'm beautiful, and I may pretend to be bitchy
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2003-01-04T00:31:00.000-08:00

oops

2003-01-04T00:26:00.000-08:00

I have been posting very little for the past two days.. and no quiz as a matter of fact. so here it is... don't enjoy

Kinda scary, kinda not. Kinda cute?
Well, at least I don't loathe the word like Kyo does. I play guitar for the
visual kei band Dir en grey. Haven't heard of them?
Poor ignorant fool.
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Stalk bunnywunny_~!

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2003-01-03T19:28:00.000-08:00

Got my cellphone today. It's big and ugly but then I don't care. If i want to show off something cute and small, then i'll borrow my sister's.
People are jerks.
Guys are perverts.
The world is gay.

2003-01-02T13:59:00.000-08:00

homework day... english and government... the day is long...

English:
1. Reading Taming of the Shrew by Shakespeares and all the other things related to it
2. Rewrite research paper and interview my mentor
3. ~~Find Journal #14~~

Spanish:
1. ~~Rewrite the stupid essay~~
2. ~~Do test on her illegally burned APCD # 1~~
3. ~~Cultural Experience which I fail to see any importance to our life~~
4. ~~Color 12 pages of crapo... Seriously lacking of importance and only adds to waste my time~~

Math:
1. ~~Do first homework for Chapter 10~~

Government:
1. Reading the book for Nelson Mandela (I hope this book is as interesting as I hope it would be)
2. ~~Start to read Chapter 12~~

Biology:
1. ~~Study Guides for Chapter 9 and 10~~

Economics:
1. ~~Study guide for Chapter 17~~

OTHER
1. SENIOR PROJECT!!!
2. ~~sigh up for CSI profiling~~
3. ~~Obtain Pin Number~~

2003-01-01T18:32:00.000-08:00

Listening to Song: Nothing
Mood: Pissed

I’m pissed. I guess it started from yesterday. I mean the gathering wasn’t as great as I thought it would be. I was expecting it to be like the Christmas one but then of course not. At least I’m not as pissed as I was as I was coming home because I had somewhat of relaxing time at work. No one came; in total we made $350. That would have been the total to pay for the electricity we wasted even opening to store today. And all the same someone stole from our store again. I was planning to go and buy some stuff but then my sister went out with her boyfriend and I don’t want to go by myself. I feel tired and cranky as hell.

Well what happened yesterday. Nothing. I went to her house at 10 and all that seemed to happen was the clock striking midnight. While sitting amidst all the people, I guess I was going back to how I used to be. Shy, antisocial.. Whatever. It pissed me off more when I think about how people were acting toward me. I guess when you’re around a lot of people, you just sort of get uncomfortable and turn into someone you’re not or maybe their true self is revealed. Whatever it may be, I seem to hold some grudge toward some people. Maybe I’m not meant to be around people at all. Everything people say piss me off or hurt me in some way or something. Especially this one time when someone said, “stop talking like you know everything.” Ok I’m sorry for even agreeing. I was madder when the person even said something like that. I don’t go around and spew information out of my mouth every single day or moment I see that person, but then person made me feel like I was trying to show off. I’m too dumb to show off anything. My knowledge is so limited even a kindergartener could get a higher SAT score than me. From what kind of personality I have, I doubt I’ll ever show off but then of course I hid my feelings.

It was difficult trying to hide my feelings while walking out the door to my car and I smiled and waved my arms. It was difficult trying to show my family as I walked into the door trying to show them that I did have a good time. No one would ever know how I really feel inside. That only makes things worse but then who is there to listen to me. If someone even bothered to listen to me, they would think I’m just a paranoid freak that needs to come back to reality. The world isn’t all sugary and sweet like you want it to be. My sensitivity is going to be the end of me.

Maybe I shouldn’t ever speak again. It only makes me feel stupider. I felt stupid sitting in that room. Anything that came out of my mouth was mundane and boring. I didn’t have any witty things to say because I’m not witty at all. I’m far from funny and even though I want to say something, it never comes out the way I want to. Probably because of my limited vocabulary and just plain simply because of my lack of knowledge of how to simply “talk”. What was the point of even speaking? I’m just a normal person. I go with the flow of society. I can never form my own opinions. But then what if those were my opinions, because I have never been expose to anything else? Maybe it’s a good thing my internet connection is going to get cut off like in a few days, then I don’t have to talk to anyone. I only have to talk to the people I need to, solely for the purpose of group project or getting information for homework. I should start living a secluded life where I don’t associate with people at all. Wouldn’t that be a great idea? Then I don’t have to be hurt anymore. I don’t have to deal with everyone around me. I wish somehow I could just stop everything and stop living. My brother pisses me off, school pisses me off practically everything pisses me off.

Isn't this a great way to start off the year?

2002-12-31T12:19:00.000-08:00

Listening to Song: Blue as the Sky by Chaka
mood: sleepy

Yesterday was fun. I came home at 3 because I watched the whole DVD of Lord of the Rings. It was fun. Yesterday I finally got my headlights fixed, an oil change, and also my side view mirror replaced. The annoying part was, we had to drive everywhere to buy the specific parts. But then all is good because we finally got most of everything done. The only thing left is to check the brakes on my car and also get a car wash. I shouldn't always depend on the rain to clean my car. It only makes it dirtier!

I WAS planning to do all my homework today but then I have to go to work. Even though I could do my homework at work it wouldn't work out.First off I can't concentrate with all the music and little children crying, but then I actually have to look out for those sneaky little stealing bastards. O the woes of owning a clothes store.

YUM! Yesterday I ate SOOOO much food. FOOD is good for me! I love food! I ate and ate until I couldn't eat anymore and than ate some more! I ate this Bokin chicken from a chinese restuarant and some chocoate bookies and strawberry cookie and some onion rings. I felt so satisfied and my stomach hurts a little but still it's all good.

People always wonder why blogs are so shallow and for some why there are more quizzes posted then the blog entries. Well some people don't writer private things on their blogs people there might be people they know who read their blog that doesn't want to know some private things and if you haven't forgotten, this is a public blog which can be viewed, literally, by anyone. Others might not want to write it out for the whole internet world to see or simply they just don't have anything insightful to write about. It really depends on how comfortable you are to want to write things out. As for me, I personally don't care. I mean this is my blog and why should I care about some ass trying to tell me my blog is so shallow and "what's up with all the quizzes". Isn't it my choice to do what the heck I want to do on this damn blog. It makes me happy just to do what I want and write whatever I feel like writing, and I don't think I would get the same satisfaction of knowing some ass likes my blog or not.

For your viewing pleasure, I present to you... quizzes...

Brought to you bybunnywunny_~!

I'm Classic-Cute!! made by Jen

Which guy are you destined to have sex with?
brought to you by Quizilla

What Was Your PastLife?

English:
list of character names, description of roles, actors/actresses playing the parts.
a synopsis of each act
themes, quotations, and other info the audience might find interesting

2002-12-30T13:20:00.000-08:00

Listening to Song: Last Regret by I've
Mood: Tired

Well all day yesterday I watched ANIME! Shaman King, Saiyuki, Gatekeepers and so on and so on! I couldn't go to sleep but then I wanted to wake up early so I could get started on my homework, but then I couldn't get out of my bed. Bed is so good to me. So warm, so nice. Well my brother didn't go to sleep last night and did an all nighter. I bet if he had to stay up all night to do his homework, he wouldn't. Isn't Anime just great?!

Wha do I plan to do today? Well I actually have plans to go out with friend. Incredible no?

Well my background picture of Rikka from Final Fantasy X-2 is staring back at me. Well I have to complain a little about the design. I mean, I have to admit the character designs are nice, the clothes and all. But then do they really have to be that slutty? I liked their original clothes better. Because Yuna exemplified the innocent girl she is but right now she looks like some other form of Lara or whatever her name might be. But then these money making game making high corporate people somehow have to attract the pervert age of this millenium. Right? I bet they say, "We needed a new and 'fresh' look to our two girl." yea buddy.

Look, I'm slowly getting my homework done. I bet any moron could finish all the things I have done in a day. O wells, I like to lag things and do all the important things on the last day... well I did get my math homework done so that's good. RIght?

English:
1. Reading Taming of the Shrew by Shakespeares and all the other things related to it
2. Rewrite research paper and interview my mentor
3. Find Journal #14

Spanish:
1. ~~Rewrite the stupid essay~~
2. Do test on her illegally burned APCD # 1
3. Cultural Experience which I fail to see any importance to our life
4. ~~Color 12 pages of crapo... Seriously lacking of importance and only adds to waste my time~~

Math:
1. ~~Do first homework for Chapter 10~~

Government:
1. Reading the book for Nelson Mandela (I hope this book is as interesting as I hope it would be)
2. Start to read Chapter 12

Biology:
1. Study Guides for Chapter 9 and 10

Economics:
1. ~~Study guide for Chapter 17~~

OTHER
1. SENIOR PROJECT
2. ~~sigh up for CSI profiling~~
3. ~~Obtain Pin Number~~

Which Yami no Matsuei Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

How confident are you as an artist?
brought to you by Quizilla

ANIME QUIZ - Which Evil Anime Badass Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Which of my male character you are most relate to?
brought to you by Quizilla

2002-12-29T13:31:00.000-08:00

Listening to Song: Nothing
Mood: Pain

I must have slept in a really bad position last night because I am in excruciating pain right now but then I am happily watching Shaman King. YAY. I love that anime! It's so cute and You-kun is just too adorable. But then I wonder how he runs in those high shoes. I mean wouldn't the straps hurt him. O well, doesn't matter. I mean if I want to know questions like those, I should also wonder how Tao Ren's hair could defy gravity. I have no idea. Last night I had a really wierd dream. I had a dream that I gave Julia a CD that I burned for her and instead of liking it, she was like, why is it so messy. And for some odd reason the cover of the cd was peeling. PEELING?!!! How? But then I desperately tried to put the pieces back together but then it wouldn't work and I felt bad because she didn't like the CD. Is it like my hidden feel that she wouldn't like the CD I burn for her? I don't know, but then these days I have been having a lot of dreams, especially concerning my friends and family.

Well this morning I didn't go to church and I don't plan to go. I couldn't even wake up. I slept at 4 last night and woke up at 12 this morning and started to watch Shaman King. I am so addicted to it but then I didn't get to download anymore. I have up to episode 32 but then I have no many missing in between and I can't find them on MIRC so I have to resort to WINMX but then that doesn't work because no one seems to be sending them to me. THose greedy people. This is the same addiction to Saiyuki but then still I can't find anyone who would send it to me. Well today's plan is basically the same, homework, unless someone invites me to go out~

Top 5

1.

Which member of Morning Musume are you?

2002-12-28T23:10:00.000-08:00

Listening to Song: Dearest by Ayumi Hamasaki
Mood: stuffed

Went to IL MI sushi restaurant and feeling GOOD!!! Work was horrible, I assume everyone was at the mall because they are having a Christmas sale. But then it didn't dampen our spirits, I hope. Well, I didn't do any of my homework again and I don't care. I mean it's winter break! I should try to have as much fun as I could! I've been having a really great winter break so far and I'm happy. It doesn't feel like a waste and I feel so rested! I'm feeling relaxed and ready to face the new year.

Last night I went out to buy some burrito from Taqueria and then to Coldstone for some ice cream and then we drove to buy some chicken from a Chinese Restaurant but unfortunately the restaurant was closed because it was nearly 12. No wonder I'm gaining weight~ I couldn't even wake up this morning to go work.

Also, last night my sister and her boyfriend and I talked until 3 in the morning about life in general. It felt nice when we sat around talking and I wish I can form more relationships like those.

Well enough ranting for now. Bye bye for now~

English:
1. Reading Taming of the Shrew by Shakespeares and all the other things related to it
2. Rewrite research paper and interview my mentor
3. Find Journal #14

Spanish:
1. ~~Rewrite the stupid essay~~
2. Do test on her illegally burned APCD # 1
3. Cultural Experience which I fail to see any importance to our life
4. ~~Color 12 pages of crapo... Seriously lacking of importance and only adds to waste my time~~

Math:
1. ~~Do first homework for Chapter 10~~

Government:
1. Reading the book for Nelson Mandela (I hope this book is as interesting as I hope it would be)
2. Start to read Chapter 12

Biology:
1. Study Guides for Chapter 9 and 10

Economics:
1. ~~Study guide for Chapter 17~~

OTHER
1. SENIOR PROJECT
2. ~~sigh up for CSI profiling~~
3. ~~Obtain Pin Number~~

How ASIAN are you?

Brought to you by the good folks at sacwriters.com.

I took the fruity fruit quiz

made by rav-chan

Check out which fruit you are

Take the What website are you? quiz @ Angelette.net

this is my way to live

What about yours?

made by rav-chan

2002-12-27T10:54:00.000-08:00

Listening to Song: Sakura Drops by Utada Hikaru
Mood: dizzy

Well I had too much fun for 6 days, i think I should get started on my homework. Why didn't I do it earlier? Because I am stupid. Well anyways... today's blog is short. What did I do yesterday. I'll make a list... it's faster and gets to the point.

Yesterday's agenda
1. Ate cereal
2. cleaned room to make room for my cousin computer (I hate it, makes my room even smaller)
3. Watched Catch Me if You Can
4. Talk to friend on phone

Today's Goal
1. Get paper from jack
2. Get the things my mom asked me to from my cousin's house
3. Get 2 out of all my homework done

Click here to find out what Rayearth character you are!

take the non-offensive quiz.

and go to mewing.net. laura = great.

Who are you? wierd....

2002-12-26T01:41:00.000-08:00

Listening to Song: Love is Over by Brown Eyes
Mood: whatevers

Burned myself a little CD... Well I just went and watched Two Weeks Notice and it's a total chick flick. I fell in love with it. While walking out of the theater, I was commenting just on how cute the movie was, and my sister said, "That's what Farra wants to happen to her." I laughed at it but then it holds a lot of truth. I really want some kind of romantic thing or something to happen to me. But, little old me doesn't really have the time or the resouces or whatever els eis necessary to find someone who would do all these crazy little things for my love. Wel I can still dream and hope.

Well here is Rika Ishikawa She is SoOOoOo pretty!
Here is Rika Ishikawa again... For some reason I really like this picture. I like pictures where the person isn't actually looking at the camera and looking somewhere far off... Looks a little dreamy you know? Like... they're in their own little world...

Which MC Female Are You?

Brought to you by Coftia

What Morning Musume Sub-group are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

You're
Modern!

You're
look is always new, fresh and cool. You like to change your style, so that it's always amusing.
Definitively a
real fashion diva! ^
^

What's
your Own Fashion Style?

I'm Angelic Cute!! made by Jen

2002-12-25T18:31:00.000-08:00

Listening to Song: No More Words by Ayumi Hamasaki
Mood: tired

The day went in a flash today. You know why? It's because I slept the WHOLE day. I wasn't out partying or anything, but just slept. I just couldn't wake up to go to work. Right after I woke up I went on to find out some more about CSS profiling and after doing that slept some more. So I slept a total of 12 hours today. Some people might feel like they wasted the whole day if they did what I did but I don't feel bad though. I LOVE SLEEPING! I suppose my body was just really tired. You need to keep your body in good shape or else you might not be able to do anything!

While on the internet I found out about this group called Morning Musume. They are so huge. I don't even know how many people are in it but then they are huge. And I like one girl from there. I think her name is Rika something. She's SOOO pretty.

Also another random information. I got a new computer in my room. It used to be my cousin's but then he's off somewhere in Kansas and so I get to keep his computer. Until he returns, which is three years later.

RIght now I'm still debating whether to go to Paul's retreat. I'm so tired I don't really want to go. I just want to stay at my house and probably catch up on some homework because I don't need to go to work for a while.

Who's your inner singer-songwriter?

Take the quiz!

~Find Your Beauty Aura~

Which Sanrio Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

© What's your Inner Goddess Color?? © Jen

2002-12-24T22:05:00.000-08:00

Listening to Song: Through the Rain by Mariah Carey
Mood: HAPPY!!!!!

I can say that I am in the "Christmas" mood. I want to run around and yell MERRY CHRISTMAS to everyone!!! Today at work it was all good. Didn't make as much as last year but then still good. It isn't time to be greedy!

I felt fat today so I ran for thirty minutes and it is so freezing outside but then afterwards I felt very rEfResHeD. Yesterday was SOOOOO fun!!! I love my friends!!! I'm so glad I went to Jon's house for the Christmas gathering. I especially liked the part when we exchanged gifts. I didn't think anyone would really get me anything and I feel shame when I compare what they gave me to what I gave them.

Even though I don't want to choose favorites...

My favorite gift is probably the one from Janice. It felt like she made it from the heart. For a while I kept doubting how strong our friendship was but then I know that she's just Janice and she does what she does. hahahaha It's funny when I think about it. (only to me) I know that she does care for me but then she can't express it like I wish she would. But then I have to deal with it and love her for it. You're probably wondering, "what did she give you?" Well it isn't big or anything but then it's big enough for me. She got me this picture frame and a little picture of me and her taken at little tokyo and she wrote a little note by it as well. I guess it's those small gifts that had a lot of thought put into it are the best gifts of all. I have the little picture frame sitting on my little old table and the little bulldog as well.

But then I can't forget the other WONDERFUL gifts I received. Thanks Helery for the cool coin hello kitty bank. They're DANCING. HAHAHAHA I wasn't expecting a little pink coin bank. It's very CUTE!!! Thanks GIna for the Teddy Bear. I loved them candycanes. I always like dolls and it's sitting right on my little table as well, right next to my Shinobu plush doll. Thanks Jon for the little doggy. And it's ok you didn't know I liked Pugs. The dogs is really CUTE!!! It's sitting to the left of my Naru plush doll. HAHAHAHHAHA THANKS SEONG for the CDS!!! Burned animes are coming your way!!! Also you gave it to me at the right time. I needed more CDs to burn. And how can I forget Victor's gift. He kept commenting how "freaky" it was. I bet you meant to say how freakin "cute" it was.... right?... Anyways.. it's all good I LOVED THEM ALL!!!!

I should stop before I just keep on rambling on and on without an end. I would like to write more about what happened while driving from Jon's to work and back but then no one wants to hear so... laters~

which stereotype are you?

I took the fruity fruit quiz

made by rav-chan

Check out which fruit you are

You're not punk. You know you're not punk. You don't listen to punk music. You don't wear punk outfits. You don't care about politics. Why did you take this test??

Whats Yer Punk?

this is my way to live

What about yours?
made by rav-chan

Who is your Ideal Lord of the Rings (male) Mate?
brought to you by Quizilla

Who is your Ideal Lord of the Rings (male) Mate?
brought to you by Quizilla

THIS ANSWER JUST CRACKED ME UP!!!

2002-12-23T09:07:00.000-08:00

LIstening to Song: Life by Miho
Mood: In the mood...

Well I didn't do any of my homework yesterday but I did go christmas shopping. I spent $56 exactly for presents. I hope they like it and I also went to work and got a T-shirt. Well anyways... woke up at 8:30 and feeling a little refreshed and I hope today would be fun. I have to go to work soon so... Hope everyone has a nice day.

Tomorrow is going to be the day when I start on my homework.

I'm a Daffodil. I'm respectable, upstanding and proper. I do everything with class, even when no one is looking. Respect is important to me, and I deserve it because I have never farted in my life. Nor do I masturbate. Also my pinky sticks out when I drink from a glass.
What bloom are you? by Polly_Snodgrass

Take the What layout are you? quiz @ Angelette.net

2002-12-22T12:29:00.000-08:00

LISTENING TO SONG: Fourth Avenue Cafe by L'arc en Ciel
MOOD: READY...

Yesterday my mom's store made enough but then we should or could have made more. But then that sure didn't dampen my spirit even though my sister was a little "annoyed" by it. I told her, "You being grumpy won't help us at all." Afterwards we went to the Glendale Galleria and it was so packed with people I could barely move. Then my sister got more annoyed saying, "If a trickle of these people came to our store we'll be doing OK." Well anyways...

I want so much clothes from the mall. I want EVERYTHING!!! But then I felt so nasty walking in the galleria. Literally there are so many pretty girls out there but then guess what, there are so many perverted guys out there. This is outright outrageous when a grown man with a wife and child is staring at my sister. I could understand little boys who are horny but then grown men? Anyways.. the world is sick.

I went to the Wetzel Shop again but then, they made their thing, not so good. I almost cried because I was craving for it the whole time at the store. I guess because there are so many people they can't make it like they used to. NOOOO... All I did this whole week was eat and eat and eat. And by my scale, I gained 5 pounds. I hate gaining weight but then I can't hate food. Anyways, today I plan to do all my homework. I have so much to do!!! It's not even funny.

homework over WINTER BREAK!!! (I hope I remember what they are)

English:
1. Reading Taming of the Shrew by Shakespeares and all the other things related to it
2. Rewrite research paper and interview my mentor
3. Find Journal #14

Spanish:
1. Rewrite the stupid essay
2. Do test on her illegally burned APCD # 1
3. Cultural Experience which I fail to see any importance to our life
4. Color 12 pages of crapo... Seriously lacking of importance and only adds to waste my time

Math:
1. Do first homework for Chapter 10? or 11? or 12?

Government:
1. Reading the book for Nelson Mandela (I hope this book is as interesting as I hope it would be)
2. Start to read Chapter 12

Biology:
1. Study Guides for Chapter 9 and 10

Economics:
1. Study guide for Chapter 17

OTHER
1. SENIOR PROJECT
2. sigh up for CSI profiling
3. Obtain Pin Number

Also these are somemore quizzes :

I'm a Forget-me-not. Memories are a very powerful influence in my life. I often long for days gone by. Those times were important. I suffer from chronic nostalgia.
What bloom are you? by Polly_Snodgrass

Take the What website are you? quiz @ Angelette.net

Which Kick-Ass Animated Heroine Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

img src="http://www.nekorevolution.net/test/06cutie.gif" border="0">

Who are you?

take the non-offensive quiz.

and go to mewing.net. laura = great.

What Element Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

What fantasy movie are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

2002-12-21T12:32:00.000-08:00

Listening to Song: An April Story by Jang Nara
Mood: content

Another day. My day was complete yesterday as I watched lord of the rings. I have to say, it was great. Especially when I saw Legalos..uncontrollable drooling in effect. I want to watch it again. And I'm still waiting for Brett to let me borrow Lord of the Rings DVD set. Well got to go to work. BYE!

2002-12-20T21:06:00.000-08:00

Listening to Song: Ayumi Hamasaki's Special Tencho Remix
Mood: Good...

Basically I'm just happy. I went out with friends, received christmas presents, and it's finally winter break. The only thing left is to watch Lord of the RIngs the Two Towers to make my day complete. My friends and I were planning to watch it, however plans changed as we were severely lacking of money after eating all that FOOD!! It was so good. I was so full I could barely breathe. It felt so nice, we talked for the longest time. It felt like we haven't seen each other for years. I suppose it's true because at school all we do is talk about school work. DULL...

OOoOo and we gave Christine a make over. I sort of did the make up and Williana did the hair. Williana couldn't finish mine because we had to leave. Christine turned into a fione chica!!! hahahaah DAYAM...

While at CPK, Williana asked us what we thought were our best qualities from our body. Some people istantly knew the answer... But then I held back in answering. THose kind of questions.. annoy me. Because what if you say, "O I like my eyes" and someone doesn't agree? Also, one person was trying to make everyone tell her what all her good qualities are. I don't like those either. I mean she made me feel like I was supposed to say something nice. I find it annoying when people put themselves down in front of others. I know they expect to hear some kind of compliment. Yet why do you do that anyways?? I mean I like to give compliments. I know they want to hear some kind of compliment. But I just want to give compliments when I really do feel the person deserves the compliment. Not because I feel I have an obligation to do so.

Tomorrow I have work but then it's ok. I plan to work hard tomorrow and everyday until Christmas!! THen I plan to go to Paul's retreat. I forgot to pay but it's $85... It's a little too much. Also asking my mom would be a little... I also need to buy some presents for my CV friends... I don't know, I just don't want to NOT buy them ay presents either. EHHH... being broke up the ass is such a drag.

More quizzes...

What Flavor Snapple Are You?

You're Yumi!

You are friendly, cute, good-natured, and just plain sweet.

You just have to be careful, since you can be sensitive sometimes.

All you want is for your special someone to notice you and return your feelings.

However, he may or may not return your love.

Just be strong, and stay true to yourself.

Someday, you'll find love.

+ target="chobit test">Take the Test! +

What swear word are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

What beauty staple are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Take the What layout are you? quiz @ Angelette.net

2002-12-20T07:42:00.000-08:00

Brown Eyes by Destiny's Child (this is complete)

Remember the first day when I saw your face
Remember the first day when you smiled at me
you stepped to me and you said to me
I was the woman you dreamed about
Remember the first day when you called my house
Remember the first day when you took me out
We had butterflies although we tried to hide
and we both had a beautiful night

The way we held each others hand
The way we talked the way we laughed
it felt so good to find true love
I knew right then and there you were the one

I know that he loves me cause he told me so
I know that he loves me cause his feelings show
When he stares at me you know that he cares for me
You see how he is so deep in love
I know that he loves me cause it's obvious
I know that he loves me cause it's me he trusts
and he's missing me if he's not kissing me
and when he looks at me his brown eyes tells his soul

Remember the first day, the first day we kissed
Remember the first day we had an argument
We apologized and then we compromised
and we haven't argued since
Remember the first day we stopped playing games
Remember the first day you fell in love with me
It felt so good for you to say those words
cause I felt the same way too

The way we held each others hand
the way we talked the way we laughed
It felt so good to fall in love
and I knew right then and there you were the one

I know that he loves me cause he told me so
I know that he loves me cause his feelings show
When he stares at me you know that he cares for me
You see how he is so deep in love
I know that he loves me cause it's obvious
I know that he loves me cause it's me he trusts
and he's missing me if he's not kissing me
and when he looks at me his brown eyes tells his soul

I'm so happy so happy that you're in my life
and baby now that you're a part of me
You showed me
Showed me the meaning of true love
and I know he loves me

I know that he loves me cause he told me so
I know that he loves me cause his feelings show
When he stares at me you know that he cares for me
You see how he is so deep in love
I know that he loves me cause it's obvious
I know that he loves me cause it's me he trusts
and he's missing me if he's not kissing me
and when he looks at me his brown eyes tells his soul

He looks at me and his brown eyes tell his soul

2002-12-19T19:45:00.000-08:00

Listening to Song: Memory from Soul Taker
Mood: Pooped out

School sucked butt today. I failed my math test which was hella hard for me. I barely solves three problems and the rest, BSed through it like crazy. Good thing I have no test tomorrow. This week has been test week and I barely had any time to spend for myself. Literally I couldn't even spend more than 2 hours on the computer each day. Winter break is coming, but then I have no idea how it could be a break because I would be working at my mom's store starting from Friday all the way to Christmas day... Whoopee... BUT i could go to a retreat with Choong Hyun on December 26 if I remember to bring my money.

Today was Christmas shopping day. YAY!!! I always enjoy buying presents for people, even though they might not feel like getting me a present.... But then I spent a total of $240.. Can you believe it? All the money I've been saving up from working at Noonoppi, GONE in one day. Well it's all worth it I suppose but then the present is so small, I hope they like it.

oOoOO... also!!! I am finally going to go out with my friend and probably watch Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers!! In AP bio we spent two days watching Lord of the Rings. It was so nice!!! AHH... Hope tomorrow is fun. I have no money though. I guess I have to skip dinner...

PS... FEAR!!! ^_^
PSS... Listen to the new song I added on to my blog

Crystal candy holder = $17.00
Fake flower shiny crap = $21.00
12 little bags = $0.20 cents each
12 Little blue bear and babu bear key/cellphone holder = $9 each
Little pretender Babu bear wearing raccoon's clothes = $25.00
Little baby Bear = $17.00
Little cowboy Blue Bear = $17.00
Two blue and yellow cups = $20.00
4 candy bags = $2.00
Seeing your friend's face light up as she unwraps her present = priceless

QUIZZES... I was only going to put two each day but then i have been taking a lot more quizzes than I should be...

Which Final Fantasy animal are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

What Anime Critter are You?

Which Final Fantasy 8 Female Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

You're
Cutie!

You like to always
look very feminine and pretty sweet. With soft colors, dresses, and some other accessories always very
glamourous

What's
your Own Fashion Style?

Random Convo:
CHiNo1043: heh heh u r menchi ^^
bAbYxSaRaNg: HUH?
bAbYxSaRaNg: WELL..
CHiNo1043: im gonna eat ya!
bAbYxSaRaNg: HAHAHAH
CHiNo1043: *chomp*
bAbYxSaRaNg: HAHAHA NOOOOOOOOOOO
bAbYxSaRaNg: DON'T EAT ME!!!
CHiNo1043: dont worry menchi-chan, your only for emergancy's
bAbYxSaRaNg: >____<
bAbYxSaRaNg: i DON'T WANT TO BE EATEN ever!!!!
CHiNo1043: oook
bAbYxSaRaNg: ^^
CHiNo1043: weeeeeeeeeeee imma bunny
bAbYxSaRaNg: HAHAHAH
bAbYxSaRaNg: RANDOMNESS KICKING IN

2002-12-18T14:11:00.000-08:00

Listening to Song: Sit Beside Me by ???
Mood: tired

GREAT!!! What a day. I typed this really LONG entry and guess what I did. I pressed the stupid "Blogger" button and when I pushed the back buttom, everything that I wrote disappeared. Isn't that great?!!! mad right now. Well how was school. I seem to get lazier when I have more things to do. Last night, instead of studying for my government test I slept and in the morning crammed everything that I could, which didn't help much. I didn't know school could be so boring. Spanish was a bore and government was tiring and economic was a killer. It bored me so much that I think I slept in that class.

Now I can't even remember what else I wrote in the other entry. My mind is a complete blank. I know I was complaining about something but then what? Well today was very COLD and I was wearing a knitted sweater and all the wind went through. People liked my belt.

Today I actually went down to lunch because I wanted to see this guy I sort of like. But then it's pretty bad because he's younger than me. I think I might be some kind of cradle robber. I never really liked the idea of some older girl hitting on some younger boy but then... He is the ideal person I like physically. He's almost 5'8'' (which is pretty tall seeing as how I'm 5') and he has big eyes, nice hair, and dresses well.

But then I doubt he'll even notice me. I'm almost invisible. It's ok though, I don't even want a boyfriend right now because I know all guys are the same. Perverted and what not. But then I made this certain guy different from other guys, the ideal guy of my dreams but then only because I don't really know what kind of person he really is. He's probably the same like every other guys but then I could dream that he isn't. It's my fantasy. -________-;;;

Christmas is coming!!! I don't know why I like Christmas so much. Probably because it's so... pretty?...

I added more quizzes because I couldn't yesterday... ENJOY...

~Which Final Fantasy do you Relate With~
brought to you by Quizilla

What Element Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Evil or not?
What character from a creepy anime are you?

Total slaughter....total slaughter...

Find out what anime bad boy you are.

What Flavor Snapple Are You?

Which sanrio character are you
brought to you by Quizilla
This is a wierd quiz!!!~ -____________-

2002-12-17T21:03:00.000-08:00

Listening to Song: Eternal Memory by Lena Park
Mood: strangely happy...

Rainy again!!! It didn't even last more than a couple of minutes but then it rained while I was trying to run to my car. I was soaked like crazy from head to toe and guess what?!!! Right after I got into the car and was drying up, my friend said, "Hey... it's not raining anymore." Far off in the corner I saw the crisp blue sky and in my mind I yelled, "Crapo." If we waited a couple of minutes than the sky would have cleared up. Stupid weather. I really don't like how sporadic the weather has been. AHHHH~~~

Well in English I got my essay back... boy do I suck at writing essays. I hate essays period. Or maybe I just hate the teacher, either way I hate english. She also gave our grades and ... wait... this blob will tell you how I feel. Yea... exactly how I feel. Depicts me so well. Gets right to the point, no?

For some reason though, I'm happy. Christine was commenting on how happy I was. I told her it was because of my magic sweater where it could absorb all my sadness and depression and throw it away. Then she hit me with the book. I don't know why I would be so happy. Nothing exceptionally happy happened to me. I guess, this has been my week. Oh also talking to Gina during biology helped. It's always nice to talk to her even though I never tell her. I have to tell her one day how much she means to me and how greatful I am to have her as a friend.

While talking to GIna, I thought to myself of the one of the things I was afraid of which is being forgotten. I've always been afraid of being remember as nothing more than someone. An image in someone's head that held no name nor meaning. I don't want to be remember as that one girl, who you never really knew. I want people to grow up and somehow tell others about me, that I meant something special to me.... Maybe I'm just dreaming but then right now I know about three people who would consider me that special right now and I told it'll grow more.

PS I want to see the animated Ragnorak.
Also... i am in love with the song Brown Eyes by Destiny's Child...

Remember the first day when I saw your face
Remember the first day when he smiled at me
He stepped to me and then he said to me I was the woman you dreamed about
Remember the first day when you called my house
Remember the first day when you took me out
We had butterflies although we tried to hide
And we both had a beautiful night
The way we held each other said
The way we talked, the way we laughed
It felt so good to find true love
I knew I've been in and there you were the one
I know that he loves me cuz he told me so
I know that he loves me cuz his feelings show
When he's there for me you see he cares for me
You see how he's so deep in love
I know that he loves me cuz
I know he love me cuz it's me he trust
When he's listening and if he's not kissing me
And when He looks at me...
His brown eyes tell me so...

2002-12-16T21:22:00.000-08:00

Listening to Song: Broken Promises by Tonya Mitchell
Mood: slightly amused...

Today was sOoOoo rainy. Water was EVERYWHERE! Here and there and you couldn't run away. Man today was a cold day.

I don't like the rain when I"M GETTING WET!!!! I had to run to my car because I didn't have an umbrella and I wasn't really wearing adequate attire to keep myself warm. But then it was funny while trying to run to my car and getting soaked anyways. Julia and I were freezing our ass off and the heater didn't seem to work. On this great day she was wearing those open toe sandals. Poor her. ^_^ Yet it was memorable as we ran into her house and took off all our clothes so we could dry it and changed into nice warm ones. Then we pigged out in the living room eating ramen and a pot pie from KFC. I came home and ate some more. Eating is so good. Then I went to the library to borrow that book for English and also find a biography on someone, I plan to do it on Kissinger. While coming back from the library all I could think about was eating something. Stress?

I'm starting to smile. A REAL smile from deep inside. I founds out that the small things in life really are the important things. I don't know if you have noticed but I have been trying to find what makes me happy. I want to find things that would give me meaning to life. A couple of days I have been pretty close to being completely depressed but then I realized I didn't want to go through another one of those slumps, so I thought I would just try to find a solution. I began to think of things that made me happy. So far it's working because now I'm enjoying everything, even something as small as a smile from a complete stranger. (even though that might mean something else) However, the important thing is, I'm a little better, yet I can't say for how long... Enjoy happy me until it lasts... Well anyways...

Here is my Christmas List, not that anyone would care to get me these things. But I'll post it here just in case.... ^_____^

My Christmas List
1. Guess watch
2. organizer
3. Nice wallet
4. scarf
5. A boyfriend for christmas

More quizzes...

Sexy
.

© What's your Inner Goddess Color?? © Jen

I'm Naru!
You have your standards; but hey who doesn't!?
You care about your friends and stay true to yourself,
however you are known to throw a fit every once in awhile.
While some say you're the devil,
others know you're a true angel!

take the non-offensive quiz.

and go to mewing.net. laura = great.

2002-12-16T01:40:00.000-08:00

Life is funny sometimes...

See what Care Bear you are.

See what drug you are.

You're Plum!

You are cute, cute, cute, and um.....oh yeah...CUTE!!!

You're whole purpose is to be useful and CUTE!

You work hard, and do whatever you're told, but hey you're CUTE!

+ target="chobit test">Take the Test! +

I scored a 79% on the "**ArE yOu TuRe KoReAn**??" Quizie! What about you?

Moon, Sun, or Sky?
brought to you by Quizilla

2002-12-15T21:38:00.000-08:00

Continuation of the "Good Things in Life" from 12/8/02
Contributed by Vanessa

68. While you're driving and all the lights are green.
69. The smell of the air after it rains
70. Laughing at funny license plates, holders, or bumper stickers

Quotes found by the wise Richard:

"Someday, someone may kill you with your own gun, but they should have to beat you to death with it because it is empty." USMC Rules for Gunfighting

"Fear the man with only one weapon, for with it he is sure to be an expert."

Oh and another thing, I got new shoes. ^________________^ oOOoOOOo

2002-12-15T12:18:00.000-08:00

LIstening to Song: I Want by Fly to The Sky featuring bOa
Mood: HAPPY

MY MOMMY CAME BACK FROM KOREA!!!!! YAY and she bought me lots of new make up~~~ YAY!!~ well see yah people later~~~ Ahhh and last night I had a big episode... SIGH* Life never lets me alone~ Well anyways... more quizzes to entertain you people...

Which Suikoden 'Hero' Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

What kind of b!tch are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

""Which cocktail are you?""
brought to you by Quizilla

Find out what anime series you belong in.

Human Wannabe
What character from a creepy anime are you?

I'm Angelic Cute!! made by Jen

What type of Bishounen are you? Find out at artificial-soul.net by Rin.

2002-12-14T09:00:00.000-08:00

Listening to Song: Lia...

Mood: tired...

Last night I watched Lilo and Stitch. AHHHH so cute~~~ Before Stitch and Lilo scared me because they were so... like that. But then later on it showed the softer and cuter side and I couldn't help but then fall in love with them. I recommend everyone to go and watch it.! What else? I finally borrowed A Beautiful Mind I'm expecting it to be good so I hope it doesn't fail me now. It was good for everyone else. ^_^ Well we did have an episode as we borrowed the wrong movie (scooby doo) and so we had to go back and find our receipt because my genius sister threw it somewhere. Well we found it but then we didn't even need it because they just told us to find the DVD we wanted.

Well today after work I'm going to come and watch A Beautiful Mind.AH... can;t wait until Sunday. ^_____^ Well I didn't post up quizzes for two days so I will post some up.

I present to you today... QUIZZES!

I'm Hello Kitty Star Fairy! made by:Jen

I'm Mysterious Cute!! made by Jen

Which are you?

made by Jen

I'm a Cosmopolitan, discover your ALcoHoLiC personality!

The cute bear from the Magic Users Club

Find out what secondary animated character you are.

center>

I'm Shinobu!
Shy aren't we!?

You are just too sweet for some right?

There's no reason to make a ruckus,

& you wonder why quiet hours are never enforced!

You own a select group of friends

who you know you can depend on!

2002-12-13T20:03:00.000-08:00

Listening to Song: Never Ever by Ayumi Hamasaki...
Mood: Full

Finished eating KFC. YUM... I know I gained ten thousand pounds. O wells. How was my day?? Well, two words... Nothing much... I was bored out of my mind and my presentation in Bio was pathetic. It seems I'm getting worse and worse talking in front of people. -___- Everyone else's presentation was pretty pathetic as well.

Anyways... felt like shiet. Seriously, whenever I walk into my english classroom I feel like I'm being scrutinized. Sigh... they're probably looking at how ugly I am. I felt so dirty today but then whatever. I should stop being so paranoid. Well I'm assigned to read Taming of the ? I predicting it's going to be a boring book. I want to scream, "WHY?!!"

Well one good thing about today is.. I'm... FINISHED WITH FINALS FOR GCC!!!!! I can't believe it's OVER with SOCIOLOGY!!! Dang, I took the final today and even though I didn't know the answers to a few of the questions, the important thing is, I"M DONE!!!! Well now all I have to worry about it school homework which I plan to do tomorrow... I'm going to make tonight "relaxy night" ^_______^ I plan to watch Minority Report or something else. YAY! My mommy is going to come from Korea on SUNDAY!!!!! Double YAY!!! Well she wasn't able to sell the house so she might as well come back home.

Did you know my parents owned THREE houses in Korea but then my father's grandmother sold two for medicine. I was so mad when I heard about this. The money from the houses were supposed to be used for me when I go off to college and now we have nothing. NADA. My grandmother had to sell the house so she can live lousy year more. Seriously, people and their... dude... Sometimes I think it's better they just go away and stop bother the people trying to live.

My mother's grandmother NEVER complains or only does when she's about to die or something. My mother's grandmother has been living with me for a while and the only time she complained was when she was in excruciating pain but she only asks to be taken to the doctor when she knows she can't handle it anymore. However, my father's grandmother.... she NEVER STOPS complaining!!! I remember her always calling to asking my dad to send her some money but then because my dad isn't around anymore, she has to bother some other poor freak. Well, instead of staying over there she came from Korea a while ago and I don't plan to visit her. You're right, I'm a lousy granddaughter but then it's my choice if I want to see her or not. Eventually my mother is going to nag me into going to see her. But... I don't want to look at her. I don't know. After she came here, my aunt ran away from home and wants a divorce. I don't know. Life is gay.

2002-12-12T20:24:00.000-08:00

Well, I'm at the library. I finished reading my section to present to my bio class about proto-oncogenes. YAY... -____- (You could already hear the snoring) I have no other homework aside from studying for my math quiz but then I know I'm going to fail anyways. So what's the point of even trying to study for it. You should have seen what I got on my math test. At least i didn't FAIL. I got a C, which isn't bad but then a B would have been better...

Anyways, in the library I finished reading one chapter in my sociology book because I have a final for tomorrow but then I'm not freaking out as I should be... wierd. I really don't want to study. I'm so tired these days. Everything annoys me and I get so tired so easily. One minute I'm all happy and hyper and the next I'm all quiet and mad and I burst out my anger on anyone. So a little warning to anyone who's around me, watch out.

This morning I woke up at 5 in the morning to study for my government quiz which I feel like I failed and then I read a little in the sociology book. However, my grandmother yelled at me because of my brother. MY BROTHER is really annoying me. Am I responsible for EVERYTHING he does? He is fuking 15 and he can't wake up by himself? Do I have to spoonfeed his breakfast or put on his clothes for him?!! I don't understand why my grandmother gets angry at me. So I yelled back. But then I regret even doing so. I know better than to yell at my grandmother but then I can't take it anymore. I always get blame and reprimanded EVERY MORNING for my brother's behavior and I just hate it.

Been thinking about how fair life is. I was looking at myself in the mirror and I thought to myself... what are all the bad qualities I have.
Faults:
1. slinty eyes
2. short (midget)
3. funny shaped head
4. nappy hair
5. big nose
6. pimply skin
7. stupid

My sister's fault:
1. big nose

Do you think this is fair? I want to go face to face with God and ask him, "Do you think this is fair?" THese days I'm becoming depressed again. My depression is beginning to worsen and the feeling just sucks... somehow I can't get out of it.

I'm starting to have little faith in people now a days. Basically I feel ignored. I don't feel like my "friends" want to do anything with me. I'm starting to have doubt in the people around me...

Especially those I thought were my good friends. I always thought, no matter what happens, my friend would always want to work things out or even attempt to do so. Yet this one friend of mine, who I have known for a while now, NEVER calls nor IMs me. Then I wonder to myself, if all the time and effort I went into thinking she was my best friend a waste of time? I always thought of her during holidays and even bought her a gift on christmas, yet she doesn't even remember my birthday. I didn't hear a HAPPY BIRTHDAY or even a simple acknoledgement. Maybe I'm just really bad at choosing good friends. People who would actually care for me. And I know if I confront her about it, then she's going to say something along the lines of, i didn't know or some BS like that. HEY! get a freaking clue! if you consider me a good friend and you notice I question things and wonder if our friendship is any good and then all of a sudden i stop talking to you, don't you think it's about time to even see if you and I can work things out!

No... she wouldn't even dare. I have to make the first move. I don't know why she won't talk to me or even ask if I'm alright. I want to assume so many things like she probably thinks I should make the first mood. I hate making the first move. I don't want to do anything anymore. If she is happy not talking to me then FUK it, let it be. She can be happy without me. I'll try to be.

2002-12-11T17:45:00.000-08:00

What's Your Bedroom Personality? (For Her)
brought to you by Quizilla

I'm 0% fanatical about IM. HOW SICK ARE YOU?

What Anime Critter are You?

Find out if you are gay, bi, or str8.

!!! What are your true feelings towards Avril Lavigne? !!!
brought to you by Quizilla

2002-12-10T18:44:00.000-08:00

Listening to Song: Kimi na Yume by Mikuni Shimokawa
Mood: BLAH

More homework today.... nothing new. Todaii was a crappy day. I can bravely say that my counselor is a moron. Anyways... people are pissing me off again. I can't help it. Everyone annoys me. Sometimes I wonder why I even associate with people. The only thing they give me is stress. Sometimes I really wish I could just run away somewhere, alone. I bet if I didn't crave for attention now and then from people, I would pack my bags and you'll see me.. never. People around me are becoming a burden and I really need time away from them and have time for myself, however that wouldn't be possible right now.... I don't know who I am and right now I need time to breathe, relax, and enjoy life. I want to run to the beach and look at the sunset... and the sunrise...

TURN IN MY USC APPLICATION TODAY~~!!!!! ^________^ Never felt so much relief before. NO MORE APPLICATIONs!! All I have to worry about is school homework and those acceptance letters somewhere around April or May?.... Well what else did I do? Nothing special, after dropping off my application, I took Julia to work and went to In N Out with Christine. Sort of mad right now because I went to the library with Christine but was only able to stay for 30 minutes to leave and pick up Julia. Now I have all this homework I have to do and I feel so lazy. Why do I have to be so lazy?!!!

Well... homework beckons me... taunts me... i want to cry. I want freedom.

PS I want to watch movies!!!

I will never fail you people without a quiz tOday!!~

which musicgenre fits to you?

Isn't magic great!?

Find out what anime villan you are.

ALT="Which Rizelmine character are you?"
BORDER=0>

What Aspect of Anime\Manga are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

2002-12-09T14:54:00.000-08:00

School Sucks... applications suck even more... why do i always do everything last minute?

Which Kingdom Hearts Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

What Anime Critter are You?

Help...

Find out what anime character cliche you are.

How seme are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Which Suikoden 'Hero' Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

2002-12-08T10:25:00.000-08:00

Listening to Song: CHae Nyun by Boa
Mood: Somewhat happy...

Yesterday I went to work at 10 am and stayed until 8 pm. I don't mind and it was pretty relaxing at work as well. Well after calculating how much we earn, I felt satisfied. This makes up for the horrible profit from last week. Also my mom called from KOREA yesterday during work. She wanted to buy us something but then I told her not to because she doesn't know our style of clothes and it would be a waste of money if she buys us something we don't like. She doesn't plan to buy anything for my brother though. Right now my brother isn't cutting his hair and it's driving all the adults crazy. Anyways.. I'm just happy to hear her voice. Sigh* I miss her . I didn't know her absence for a couple of days could make such a difference. But then I have to deal for just one more week...

Well yesterday I was just too tired to do any homework so I'm just going to do all my homework today. YAY! It's a packed schedule...

What kind of homework do I have? Well...

Math: I have math homework but then I'm planning to do it late at night.

English: I'm trying to revise my research essay this morning. I have to write 5-7 pages. I need a lot of brain power this morning. I am so bad at writing essays.

Biology: I plan to read over the biology book and do my study guide, I don't want to procastinate. I hope I have enough energy to do all this.

Spanish: I have to color these STUPID PAPERS for spanish !! Literally, it doesn't feel like an AP class. Who assigns coloring? AND it's like 12 pages long!! Dude, I don't have to time to color it. Literally. For Spanish I'm just going to ask my sister to do it or something. Can't waste my time on something like that. Spanish and me just don't mix.

Government: Then for government there is a pop quiz and I HAVE to read the book over because I had to leave during class because I my brother was receiving ATS. Joy... and also try to do my extra credit in government about reading a senate election somewhere in Louisiana (I think) and writing about it .

Economics: Then for economics I have a test on both chapter 11 and 14. I need to read the whole book and even though it's an open notes test, I still need to KNOW something instead of looking through all my notes to find one stupid answer. I mean I could use my notes when I REALLY don't know the answer. The class is only an hour and a half and there is around or more than 125 questions (I think) and if I spent a minute each question then I won't have enough time because there are 90 minutes in total and that's rounding because it takes forever to pass out the scantron and the test itself. So wish me luck that I won't turn lazy and actually complete all my homework tonight (early preferable) so I won't be tired tomorrow...

(I guess I'll throw this in here because I wrote this on my xanga site when I was actually thinking of leaving blogger)

Something wierd about life. It has too many uncertainties. For me right now is college. Or my grade on math. Life always throws some kind of little mess into your face and then you're left to think, "What now?" Sometimes it hits your face and breaks your glasses and leaves a few scratches, minor surface wounds, and other times it feels as though a huge stick rammed itself in your heart. These uncertainities make me uncomfortable, even afraid of the future. I know I have to grow up and face it no matter what. Yet why am I so afraid? Am I afraid that if one of those sticks really hit me, will I ever be able to stand back up? These are constant ideas that I struggle with from day to day and night to night. I can't ever get them out of my head that I'm growing up in this world. This world which is full of pain, struggles, and love. Things you don't want to experiences but... you somehow have to or want to.....

Good Things in Life (some random things that I and others might overlook in life... I know there are so much more but then these are some of the things that come to mind... anyone want to add more?)
1. Falling in love.
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3. A warm shower.
4. No lines at the supermarket
5. Looking up at the sky on a beautiful morning.
6. Receiving a love letter from someone
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
8. Hearing your favourite song on the radio.
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Watching your favotire anime again
12. Eating ice cream
13. Looking at the sunset and sunrise
14. A bubble bath.
15. Giggling.
16. A good conversation.
17 The beach
18. Crying not because you're sad but because of how great life is.
19. Laughing at yourself.
20. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
21. Running through sprinklers.
22. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
23. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
24. Laughing at an inside joke.
25. Friends.
26. Knowing you have a home to go to
27. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
28. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).
29. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
30. Playing with a new puppy.
31. Having someone play with your hair.
33. Hot chocolate.
34. Road trips with friends.
35. Swinging on swings.
36. Having time with your family
37. Song lyrics printed inside your new CD so you can sing along without feeling stupid.
38. Going to a really good concert.
39. Making eye contact with a cute stranger
40. Winning in a raffle
41. Making chocolate chip cookies.
42. Having your friends send you home-made cookies.
43. Spending time with close friends.
44. Seeing smiles and hearing laughter from your friends.
45. Holding hands with someone you care about.
46. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change
47. Riding the best roller coasters over and over.
48. Watching the _expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.
49. Drinking coffee in front of the TV on a cold day
50. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.
51. Looking at flowers in full bloom
52. The feeling of a cool wind blowing in your face on a fall day
53. Looking at leaves fall on a autumn day
54. Kisses and hugs
55. Finding money on the street
56. Enjoying a hot coffee with your best friend
57. Going out with your best friends
58. Staying in and pigging out
59. Eating your favorite food
60. The first morning of SUMMER VACATION!
61. Jumping on your trampoline
62. Falling asleep under a tree or in class with your friends
63. Looking at the stars with your boyfriend or girlfriend
64. Enjoying the fireworks with your family or loved ones
65. Waking up after a good night sleep
66. Waking up late on Saturdays and Sundays
67. Playing videogames the whole day
65. Sharing a good coors light with your homies. (happy KEVIN?!!)
66. When you finish your homework early and having the rest of the day to yourself.
67. Smiling to yourself when you're reminded of something randomly.

Find out what anime series you belong in.

which song describes you the best?

2002-12-06T23:50:00.000-08:00

Listening to Song: Sweet Dreams by Jang Nara
Mood: tired

School... indifferent....

I received a horrible grade on my government test. Study for it? My ass. Just a waste of time. Anyways... Sociology at GCC was boring as heck. Today was an embarassing day. I am so horrible at talking in front of people. Especially when I have absolutely nothing to talk about. I rambled something along the lines of... Darwin and his "survival of the fittest" and reaching your stars." WHAT?! My group was assigned to read this dumb article about homeless children and talk about it to the class and also try to relate it to whatever we learned during the semester. Well, I made a complete ass out of myself as I literally reiterated everything my friend said and added major BS along the way. I felt DUMB. well, i AM dumb. Sigh*

Well, sometimes I really wonder about myself. How come I always act like someone different in front of different people? I used to think, "Why don't you just act who you are?" However, things change and I change. I'm beginning to act a lot more "girly" like a bimbo. I'm beginning to feel like a girl who let's thing go by and.. just... Like during lunch I see my guy friends and... i start to act all giddy even though I really don't feel like it inside. I laugh during the worst moments... and just plain I regret saying something or doing something. I feel stupid after laughing at an unfunny joke. I beginning to wonder if it's because maybe that is the true me... who I am. Yet why do I get so disgusted when I do it. But I still continue to do it. It feels as though I have no control of what I'm trying to do. Do I want to purposely try to lose who I am? Or did I have nothing to begin with? Each day, I act happy and act silly and make it seem like the world is ok. Yet is isn't, and it sure isn't me. I'm really the serious quiet girl. However, I'm trying to change. I want the world to see someone different than who I really am. Why?

Girls, commence drooling now.

Find out what anime bad boy you are.

You're a spazz genius,
and you know it. You resent the fact that not a lot of people take you
seriously, and that has only inspired you to work even harder despite
the obstacles. You're an intelligent lad in a world full of oddballs,
but you're a survivor; things will fall into place for you in the long
run.

Which
Gravitation Character Are You?

2002-12-05T16:07:00.000-08:00

Listening to Song: One Love by One Tym <~~ (coincidence? I think so)
Mood: BLAH....

Today's theme, "Fail all your test day." WOO HOO! Anyways.. In Calculus I left like two questions blank and there were only seven questions to work from. In biology, it was so easy yet i couldn't get all the name and facts straight. It makes me mad whenever I look at the question and you think, "It's Griffith, but then Edwin looks familiar. (or something and then you're wondering. Which one)?" Do you know what I mean? Seriously, I am dumb or something. I don't remember anything. I feel dumb. Studying doesn't help me at all.

Well what to do today? Aside from homework. My life consists of homework. Homework is life, Life is homework. WOW. Well I should get working on that spanish assignment. It's really pathetic, we have to go up and teach the class a subject. -_-;;; and it sucks more because she can't find a song using the pluscuamperfecto so we have to write a story? I don't know, maybe I'm just LAZY! I REALLY don't want to do anything and it's already 4. Where did all the time go?!

Can you answer a question? What does love mean?

Which Gravitation Character Are You?

Test Created By oronoda

2002-12-04T22:37:00.000-08:00

Listening to Song: Cruel Angel Thesis from Evangelion

Life sucks. Period.

looky here <~~ phUnNi~~ ^^ dat'S rIgHt~~

The tale of love & madness

A long time ago, before the world was created and humans set foot on it for the first time, virtues and vices floated around and were bored, not knowing what to do. One day, all the vices and virtues were gathered together and were more bored than ever. Suddenly, Ingenious came up with an idea:

"Let's play hide and seek!"

All of them liked the idea and immediately Madness shouted: "I want to count, I want to count!" And since nobody was crazy enough to want to seek Madness, all the others agreed. Madness leaned against a tree and started to count: "One, two, three..." As Madness counted, the vices and virtues went hiding. Tenderness hung itself on the horn of the moon... Treason hid in a pile of garbage... Fondness curled up between the clouds...and Passion went to the centre of the earth.... Lie said that it would hide under a stone, but hid at the bottom of the lake...whilst Avarice entered a sack that he ended up breaking. And Madness continued to count:...."seventy nine, eighty, eighty one..."

By this time, all the vices and virtues were already hidden - except Love. For undecided as Love is, he could not decide where to hide. And this should not surprise us, because we all know how difficult it is to hide Love. Madness: "...ninety five, ninety six, ninety seven..." Just when Madness got to one hundred.........Love jumped into a rose bush where he hid. And Madness turned around and shouted: "I'm coming, I'm coming!" As Madness turned around, Laziness was the first to be found, because Laziness had no energy to hide. Then he spotted Tenderness in the horn of the moon, Lie at the bottom of the lake and Passion at the centre of the earth. One by one, Madness found them all - except Love.

Madness was getting desperate, unable to find Love. Envious of Love, Envy whispered to Madness: "You only need to find Love, and Love is hiding in the rose bush." Madness grabbed a wooden pitch fork and stabbed wildly at the rosebush. Madness stabbed and stabbed until a heartbreaking cry made him
stop. Love appeared from the rose bush, covering his face with his hands. Between his fingers ran two trickles of blood from his eyes. Madness, so anxious to find Love, had stabbed out Love's eyes with a pitch fork. "What have I done! What have I done!" Madness shouted. "I have left you blind! How can I repair it?"

And Love answered: "You cannot repair my eyes. But if you want to do something for me, you can be my guide." And so it came about that from that day on....... LOVE IS BLIND AND ALWAYS ACCOMPANIED BY MADNESS.

"We are all a little wierd and lie's a little wierd, and when we find someone whose wierdness is compatible with our we join up in mutual wierdness and call it love."

ALT="Which Galaxy Angel character are you?"
BORDER=0>

Which Saiyuki character would sleep with you?

What's your sexual appeal?
brought to you by Quizilla

2002-12-03T14:15:00.000-08:00

Listening to Song: Evolution by Ayumi Hamasaki
Feeling: disappointed

Well I presented my speech today and I did so badly. You guys won't understand how much I hate her right now. She gave me such a horrible grade for stupid reasons. When I asked her why I receieved such a bad grade, she said, "It isn't such a bad grade." Not a bad grade?! Where did she come from. I actually want a stupid A in her class and now I doubt I could. Before saying the speech I wasn't confident but then after being done, I felt a little confident that I did well. However I was wrong... Gosh she sucks. I literally wanted to burst into tears after I saw my grade. My hopes of actually getting an A in that dumb class is over. Seriously, she is so stupid. I'm so mad right now and at the same time depressed. This time I actually expected a better grade, however, like always, I'm disappointed. I should never have any expectations of myself. Life is a constant disappintment.

This morning started out crappy as usual. I woke up late and didn't have much time to put on my make up nor curl my hair. Turn out like crap and was almost late for class so I ran to class. However, being ME, I forgot to bring my flash cards up to class and so I had to run down two flights of stairs and across a stupid field and down some more stairs to get to my car. Well, stupid old me had to run all the way down to her car to get her cards. I must be really stupid to leave my notecards in the car. Right? Well, it doesn't stop there. NOOO it doesn't stop there. I forgot to bring my keys, and so I had to run back up those stupid stairs, across the stupid field, up to the second floor where the room is situated, and then get my keys and come back down! I finally got my cards. Such a long and hard work out. The ONLY good thing that happened today was my biology test got cancelled, however is it any better? I have the Calculus BC test on the same day as the bio test now. Does life get any more better?

Dude, I hate my life right now. Nothing ever goes right. Life just continues to suck. I think it's probably because of who I am. I don't even remember a moment when I felt happy about myself or my life. Well I'm going to go and do my homework.

Which Saiyuki character would sleep with you?

2002-12-02T19:30:00.000-08:00

My brother is a moron. ^_^ Anyways... today was an OK day. Recap of what happened today. Second period, teacher talks and talks and talks some more. Calls on me for no reason as well and then continues to talk and assigns the same homework she assigned a week ago. At least I do not have homework. In fourth period, teacher talks and talk and keeps calling on me and I do not have the answer. I sixth period I recieved a A++ on my economic's project but then I also spent the whole time with the GCC counselor who didn't help me squat. She reiterated everything I already know.

My speech is tomorrow and I am so nervous and i feel like I'm going to mess up so badly. On top of that I don't even know what I am going to wear. Sigh* I should be studying for my AP Biology Exam, however I am on the computer at the library. Oh, another thing, there was no government test today. Such a waste of time on Sunday to even study for it.

Anyways... I seem to be jumping from topic to topic. I really don't have anything to say. Came to the library thinking I would study, however I can't seem to concentrate. At home coming right after school I didn't do anything until 3 and then picked up my sister and took her and her friends to Rite Aid so they could get their picture. Then I came to the library at 6:30 after picking up Jason because he needed some books for his senior project. Spent half an hour writing a letter to Christine and now I'm on the computer doing nothing. Sigh* Such an unproductive day~ I'm feeling ugly again. Especially looking at the sticker picture I took at Glendale Galleria. Why do I have to look this way? I don't know. I am so sleepy right now. I slept only for four hours yesterday because I stayed up to do my math homework thinking I would dedicate all of today to study for the bio test. Well if I don't start studying at the library right now I might as well go home and take a long shower and sleep. Well life sucks. Don't you agree?

I'm so happy christmas break is coming soon. Plan to actually go out. Sheesh.

Which Season are you?

You're responsible, sweet, gentle and lovable! You have a loving heart, a great respect for all creatures (human, great and small), and the ability to see the thing that makes each individual special. However, you tend to overlook the things that make you special, and thus, putting you in a position to be pushed around by others. Take some time everyday to reflect on your qualities, and see that you don't have to please everyone and still be loved for who you are.
Which Love Hina Girl Are You?

2002-12-02T03:46:00.000-08:00

Not Farra.
This is the brother of the one who posts on this blog. My name is... on second thought, it's best not to give out my name. I'm pretty sure my sister wrote something about me and how I've ruined her life somewhere in this blog but I'm too lazy too check. Now a few of you (the few that actually read this blog) will notice that I've changed the background song. It's called Shell by Bana, the OP theme for Witch Hunter Robin. Some of you will not like it, some of you might, I don't really care because I like it. I was supposed to go to sleep 4 hours ago but plans changed.

2002-12-01T10:56:00.000-08:00

Listening to Song: Sakura Drops by Utada Hikaru (i like the beginning ^^)
Mood: sleepy...

Ah... plan to do ALL my homework today (i hope). I didn't do anything over this thanksgiving break and I'm feeling sort of regretful... yet on the positive side I did get to rest from all the homework. I really wish I could sleep some more but then the day is almost half over...

I finished studying for my government test which took like an hour and a half. Finished writing 20 questions from the book and rewrote the notes. Yes, I know, I'm a freak for rewriting my notes, but... I couldn't stand how messy it was before. ahhhh such a long day. And my mom forgot to take me to church or something. Because while I was in my room studying the whole time doing my homework, she didn't even check my room to see if I was awake or not. O wells, technically this isn't my fault. I woke up bright and early at 7 in the morning and took a long and hot shower. The only reason I'm feeling guilt right now is because I promised my bible study teacher I was going to come today.... Well bye bye for now~

Adopted the Furuba gang~~ ^^

Why are you wasting your time here? You could be having sex with . . .

Which Weiß Kreuz guy could you be having sex with?

Which Evangelion Child Are You?

2002-11-30T20:45:00.000-08:00

Listening to Song: My World by Arvil Lavinge

Also.. don't tell me I'm over doing it on the blobs... they are KUTE!

Watching Big Daddy right now... it's entertaining. Today.. what did I do? Went to work , filled out the USC application... -______-;;; (and I'm not doing so well on it). I want to go to King Taco again in Old Pasadena . I went yesterday night and it was so good (I want some more junk food). It was relaxing while I was down there. sigh* Sunday is already coming around the corner.....

Dude... I really don't feel like doing anything. I wish summer came.

You are Quistis! You're a popular one. Life keeps you busy,
but you still try to slow down once in a while and enjoy the
world around you, in spite of how busy you are. You're in good
shape, and you can't help being a bit of a flirt.

Take the Final Fantasy 8 Test here!

The What Soda Are You Quiz By Vishal

wanted to insert a little survey~~ thingy... i had to choose between this one or the 1,000 question one... so... I chose this one...

1. What is your name? Farra Park Bae (however I'm only writing this down because that's what it says on my birth certificate... but... )
2. What color pants are you wearing right now? Dark bluish with some light brown on the thigh area... suppose "style" these days
3. What are you listening to right now? Destiny by Ayumi Hamasaki
4. What are the last four digits of your phone number, mobile or home? yea right......... (this is for all those perverts out there in the world preying on innocent asian girls -_- *shame on you tsk tsk)
5. What was the last thing you ate? korean food... a mixture of rice, lettuce, soup... things... can't really identify them right now...
6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? baby blue ^^
7. Where do you plan to go on your honeymoon? Somewhere... out of the country. I'm getting a little sick and tired of this little country... preferably a cruise down to the BAHAMAS ^^
8. How is the weather right now? Cold... sniff sniff* feet is so cold...
9. Last person you talked to on the phone? GINA hahahahaha asking me help on signing up to do her college apps ^^
10. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? I guess looks (eyes)... It's not like I'm going to see some butt ugly person and say, "WOW... I bet that persons has a great personality!"
11. Do you like the person who sent you this? I "stole" it from someone's page Ibut have no idea who.... so... I guess i like the person because i got to take this little survey....
12. How are you today? MIxture of all emtions, tired, sad, happy, anticipating, bored, sleepy, hurt, worried....
13. Your favorite drink? Cactus Coooler
14. Your favorite alcoholic drink? None.. i don't drink and plan not to...
15. How do you eat an Oreo? Usually one uses the muscles (buccinator) and my handy teeth to chew... and allow my stylohyoid to pull the hyoid superiorly & posteriorly during swallowing .. to allow the oreo to travel down my esophagus to end up in my stomach.. J/P... I enjoy my oreos dunked in milk
16. Favorite sport to watch? basketball
17. What's the next CD you're going to get? NOTHING... I don't buy CDs... hahahaah I burn them!
18. Hair color? Brown, Red, Burgundy, Purple.. any color it feels like
19. Eye Color? definitely brown...
20. Do you wear contacts? Yes
21. Favorite month? March *coughbirthdaycough*....
22. Favorite food? I love all food!!!! I do not discriminate hahahahaah if it tastes good, it's goes into my little stomach ^^
23. Last movie you watched? Harry Potter and the Chambers of Secrets.. (entertaining movie)
24. Favorite day of the year? My birthday. (I am so self-centered. Haha.)
25. Are you shy to ask someone out? Yes
26. Hugs or kisses? Hugs and then kisses?... I don't know... never really did either...
27. Relationship or one night stands? Relationships of course
28. Chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate.
29. Do you want your friends to write back? Yes... definitely.. if they don't ... they die -_______-;;; J/p... I prefer they write back...
30. Who is most likely to respond? Christine, Gina, Julia
31. Living arrangement? Mommy, Grandmother, younger brother, younger sister... and Jason, for your information they are my YOUNGER siblings
32. What book are you reading now? technically Siddhartha for English
33. Favorite board game[s]? Scrabble heheheehh ^^ after playing at Janice's and Jon's~~~
34. Favorite magazine[s]? None
35. Favorite smells? perfume wise? Romance from Ralph Lauren.. anything that appeals to me i suppose
36. Least favorite smells? Body odor?
38. Best feeling in the world? Coming home late after a long and hard day at school and wherever else I was and have a wating warm house to walk into and have food ready and watch a little video tucked between my mom and my sister on the sofa covered with a big fluffy blanket.... or drinking a nice crisp cold refreshing water on a hot day... or getting a full back massage... ahhhhh! so many things... smelling homemade cookies after coming out of the oven, drinking hot coco on a cold morning , sitting with your loved ones...
39. What is the first thing you think of when you awake? I don't want to go to school...
40. Favorite color[s]? baby blue and white
41. How many rings before you answer the phone? somewhere between three or eternity... i don't like to get the phone and the same applies for my whole family. so... if you call... expect to hear the *beep*... ^^
42. Future child's name? Well.. for boys, I like the names like, David, Danny, Joseph, and Andrew... for girls... i suppose... Ashley, Julie, Jennifer.. ^^ Duno yet..
43. What is the most important thing in life? Be happy....
44. Favorite flower? White roses and tulips
45. Favorite dress code? Huh,? what is this question asking?
46. Do you like to drive fast? sometimes.. depending on my mood~
47. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? yes
48. Afraid of storms? Yes
49. What type was/will be your first car? BMW
50. If you could meet one person dead or alive? No one...
51. Date of birth? 3-26-85
52. Your zodiac sign? ARIES (surprisingly the zodiac sign doesn't match my personality AT ALL.. leader and adventurous... my @ss))
53. Do you eat the stems of broccoli? Yes.. i like broccoli~
54. Do you have patience? Sometimes...
55. What kind of people do you dislike? The REALLY concetied, backstabbing, mean, types
56. What type of girl/guy are you interested in? UmMmMmMm... I guess personality wise, I look for humor, kindness, generosity, smart... and look wise... FIONE! j/p... umm... i want a guy... whenever i look at him i think to myself, "how did someone so great want to be with someone like me?"
57. What would you do to impress the girl/guy that you like? I have no idea, I fail in all areas that a guy would even want in a girl. For instance, can't cook or clean, ugly, stupid, and have very bad hair. T_______T
58. How would you react if the person you like rejects you? Truthfully... probably cry every single night until I can finally get over the rejection. OR...
59. What's the worst character trait in u? jealousy
60. What's the best character trait in u? I don't have the slightest idea....

2002-11-30T12:12:00.000-08:00

HI... well today is another day...

I can't believe how fast Wednesday, THursday, and Friday went by. Right now I'm trying to do all my homework and it's making me mad. -___-;; Why do I do this to myself? But then, those days were relaxing. I kept wishing tomorrow would never come. Yesterday I went to Glendale Galleria and bought a present for Lydia. Didn't get anything for myself except some... CHEESE BALL thingy~~ ^^ Love those things so much. But then I pretty tired the rest of the day. SO many clothes I wanted from GAP, Banana Republic, and so on and so on. However, no *dinero* to buy it. Poor Farra.

The speech and the math test is really making me worry. I am so nervous. I don't get the chapter AT ALL! sigh*...

Some more quizzes to entertain you people~

ALT="Which Galaxy Angel character are you?"
BORDER=0>

2002-11-29T09:01:00.000-08:00

pEoPle i wiLl neBeR faiL yOo wItHoUt a qUiZ~~~ T_T (it sounds so pathetic)

Best CCS Partner Test by Umi

Which female character from Final Fantasy 7,8,9 are you??

Go find out here! made by

I am ... to others... by Umi
To others, you are an awesome friend to depend on during times of difficulties, in other words, you are dependable and gullible.

Which DN Angel Character Are You?

^________^ i LuB DN aNGEL

A little surprised at the answer....

2002-11-28T11:26:00.000-08:00

Listening to Song: A bit of Happiness by Yuki Kajiura

Yuki and all her dope little song titles. ^^ I like most of her songs. Well I changed the background to white. Just plain white. One of my fave colors as well. ^^ Added a new thing to my fave list. "Favorite character designer" which goes to Aoi Nanase!!~~~ AnGeL dUsT is too cOoL!~

I love how all her drawings look so dreamy ^^... aNotHeR one of my faves from Angel Dust. Especially because of the feathers falling from the sky...
Sister Princess is too cute as well!!~

Well I also tried to add a comment section here but because I'm a dummy I can't do any simple HTML... sigh*

2002-11-28T09:42:00.000-08:00

Listening to Song: Tokyo Love Story by Utada Hikaru (thought the title was cute... but the song itself... duno)

Well today is... THANKSGIVING DAY... what to do on this day? People's been asking what I might do, however I really don't know. I want to go out but then I don't know anyone who would go out on this day. I slept for a full eleven hours on the floor in the living room and it doesn't feel as refreshing as it could if I slept on the bed. However, I SLEPT and that is the important thing. Feeling so refreshed. Well yesterday I didn't do any of my homework nor go to work out. I just.. watched some TV. Thought about going to work out this morning but then... too laziee as well. TOMORROW... I promise... ^^ Eh... my arms are so weak they can't even open a pickle jar. And I wanted some pickles! This is the problem, I eat too much. Been trying to cut down on the amount of food I consume, however I make my usual rounds to the kitchen for a midnight snack. sigh*

Well I need to take a shower and actually start the day. Maybe I should go work at my mom's store. sigh* bye bye

2002-11-27T13:52:00.000-08:00

Listening to Song: Amai Wana by Utada Hikaru

kiM JaE wOn!!~~
YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANKSGIVING BREAK IS FINALLY HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my tears are falling like there is no end.

What to do first? Well first off I have to pick up my brother and then what?! So many things to do and so much time to do it? Right? No... i don't think so... I feel like I'm going to waste this break again... doing homework as usual. I really need this break right now because I feel like homework just beat me down to a pulp and left me to bleed to death. T_T Right now I'm even contemplating about doing my homework so I don't have homework while on break. ( I really don't ever STOP thinking about doing homework) Because.. after million of years being tucked away in my house, I can go OUT!!!!! Literally, I am such a freakin' loser. Yes, I'm admitting it. I seriously haven't gone out as much as I should. Well... I'm planning to watch a movie with Christine if she gets her apps done. YOU BETTER GET IT DONE! While I did it last night!!! Can you believe it?!!!!! IT'S DONE!!!!!!!!!!!! it's finally done!!!!

Well today was a sucky day. I tried to avoid the "girl" again. It's really hard trying to avoid her because she is in almost every one of my class. Thank goodness break came so I can avoid her for now. Even though I know I can't avoid her forever. Someday I have to face her but then...

Woke up 6 in the morning again to write my research essay. I REALLY should stop doing this. December 3rd is like some kind of evil day for me. First I have to do my speech arguing about obesity in school and I have a math exam. I feel like I might fail. I did so badly on my math quiz. At least it was a "D". But then the speech is really making me sick. I am so nervous. I hate talking in front of people. Wish me luck. I made a commitment to work out from now on because apps for UC are done. I need to tone some muscles or something. Eck... feeling fat again. -____-;;;

LOOK!!! I am NORMAL.

you're a white sock. you're normal. some might even say you're boring.
what type of sock are you? quiz by allison

2002-11-26T14:36:00.000-08:00

Listening to Song: Trauma by Ayumi Hamasaki

Went to school. Avoided my friend the whole day. Feeling a little better because if I talked to her then I know I'm only going to go into a deeper depression. Anyways, Spanish was ok, I just don't think the teacher likes me a whole lot. Government, I passed the quiz and Economics? Boring as usual. So basically today was an ok day, aside from the fact I felt wierd tying my hair. I look wierd when I tie my hair because I have this wierd shaped face. You understand right? Went to my English teacher to look at my personal statement, I think it's better now and now all I have to do is turn it in. SIGH* It's really scary when I think about it but then hey... there's always GCC.

It's funny though, I was going to keep this blog secret so I could only write my personal thoughts but now, I just write about superficial things. Things that doesn't matter like stupid classes. I don't write about anything else, about how I feel inside nor what i think about during school. I don't talk about anything deep or anything to show you what kind of person I am deep inside. Well, too bad I suppose. Anyways... got to do more homework so bye...

PS... changed the colors a little more... dang.. when will I ever get to creating a whole new layout.. why am I so lazy? Change the colors back to how it was originally... just a little more crispy?! I don;t know, less lighter. Now people can actually read what I wrote! O joy ^^

Random quotes:

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

When two friends fall in love, they learn they are meant for each other.
When they fall out of love, they realize they want to keep each other forever.

2002-11-26T01:05:00.000-08:00

which stereotype are you?

What type of Bishounen are you? Find out at artificial-soul.net by Rin.

the internet junk
'how eccentric are you test'
deems me: 42% eccentric!

You have your share of quirks and funny habits,
but if you don't voice those thoughts your 'other side' is putting in your head, you can usually pass yourself off as a normal person.
You tend to be an average person, but that doesn't mean you have to follow what the majority of the people think all the time.

2002-11-25T14:41:00.000-08:00

Listening to Song: For you by Utada Hikaru

Well, finished with my personal statement. Just need to get proofread, and then off to studying for government quiz, start my bio outline, math homework, and a rough draft for my english senior project. Life never lets me rest. On top of that, I had a huge headache because I was hungry and now it's because I have so much to do. I really wish something would come by and help me out of this little hole. Well I have to go now. Bye

PS.. I should write next to obsession, taking online quizzes...

2002-11-24T15:57:00.000-08:00

Listening to Song: Opening theme to Escaflowne

Do you people think the blog is alittle too bright? Too bright to be read? HmMmMm... stil thinking about whether to change it or not. Well how have you guys been? Slept until 1 this morning. Feeling quite lazy. Thinking of dedicating this whole day to college applications and such. On Tuesday I plan to write my research paper. SIGH* Feels like I'm drifting from everyone. It doesn't feel like anyone really wants to talk to me. Dude, life is really getting annoying. I wonder why I even live if it's such a pain to live. Anyways...

You are garnet
You sometimes seem like a snobby and bossy person, but really, you are always thinking about other people before thinking about yourself.

take this quiz!

I WAS A SWEET CHILD
you're parents were lucky with you. you're sweet.
innocent. helpful. and cute.
what kind of child were you?
(brought you by april)

2002-11-24T03:25:00.000-08:00

aHhHhh nOoOoo quizzes again! oOh and if you have noticed the change in the colors. Yes... I just want to make your eyes BLEED! I don't know, I think it's cute.

Are you a Seme or Uke?

Which Music Type are You?Find out!

Which Disney Princess are You?Find out!

Which Flower Are You?Find out!

Which Kid's TV Character are You?Find out!

Which Saiyuki boy are you?

Take the Saiyuki Quiz at anime-doll.com

I am a STORY TELLER

I am a natural story teller, and tales unfold in my mind almost without thought. I can entertain myself by reading a book that exists only in my head, which might make me seem distant from people at times.

the internet junk
'online test addiction test'
deems me: 44% addicted to online tests!

So you've taken a test or two in your life. It's not a big deal. You're just a social test taker. Really, you'll be fine. Just don't let that test you sneak late at night become a dirty little secret.

I seriously thought something else would come out. Something along the lines of, "Stop taking online quizzes YOO FREAK!!!"...

Are you a boy or a girl?
brought to you by Quizilla

this is scary........................... hahah well victor you got a little boy!!! you're not a man....!!